r/AskReddit Apr 30 '22 Silver 1 Wholesome 1

[Serious] What part about mental health do you wish more people understood? Serious Replies Only

851 Upvotes

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u/Soft-requiem Apr 30 '22 edited May 01 '22 Gold Helpful Helpful (Pro)

I wish people understood just how deeply depression affects a person. Motivation is gone. The joys of the small things is gone. Memory is suddenly a lot worse. There's little to no self-care. Distraction by using work that leads to burnout, and then trying to work through the burnout because we just don't see another way to work through it. Trying to hold a simple conversation becomes a lot harder than you feel it should be, which leads to anxiety or panic for others. Thoughts become jumbled, sometimes it makes a person sound dumb, and sometimes words are just switched around when you're talking. You have times when you binge eat and times when you just don't eat at all, so you gain or lose weight and what little confidence you had is gone.
For some it begins like a slow slope downward and for others it's a sudden freefall.

I'm taking the steps to improve myself, talking to my therapist and medication and all that. It doesn't just 'go away' and even on medication you're not suddenly 'better'. It's a struggle. Sometimes you forget to take the medication, you think you did, and then you're wondering why you feel worse then usual all day and blame anything wrong happening as your fault.

Edit: I want to take a moment and thank those that gave this post an award, so thank you!

To everyone in the comments, thank you! I'm glad that my post was able to help some of you that couldn't describe how/what they were feeling, I'm very happy that my post was able to open the door to conversation for some, for me that was the first step to my own recovery. Depression affects everyone differently. No one here is alone, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I know first hand that its hard, is seems impossible, but for those that truly feel they need it, reach out and get the help you need/want. I am only a stranger on the internet, and I do not know anyone personally, but I want everyone here to be happy with their lifestyles and happy with themselves.

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u/effing-boomer Apr 30 '22

I read this and realized this is the best description of me that I have ever seen or heard. Handed my phone to my wife to read, as I know she has difficulty understanding, and I have difficulty helping her to understand.

I want to say thank you from the depths of my soul.

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u/kri210705 Apr 30 '22

Feel ya, we're just strangers on the internet but I really hope you'll get out of it. Sending much love mate

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u/Clean_Ad2102 Apr 30 '22

OMG You are so right! I could not remember my meds. A pill box was the worst idea. I couldnt concentrate to fill it correctly. I finally got a smart phone and a dog to get me on track. My dog actually would remind me to take my meds. I wish you well.

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u/Soft-requiem Apr 30 '22

Yeah I tried the pill box once but it just didn’t stick so I used my phone with reminders set up to keep me on track.

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u/clrke1 Apr 30 '22

Wow that was the most relatable thing I have ever read

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

People with PTSD sometimes get triggered constantly, by seemingly unrelated things.

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u/crochet4cptsd Apr 30 '22

I once had to run to the bathroom to throw up and cry at work because someone broke a 2 liter bottle of Dr pepper on accident. A lot of people were incredibly confused until my coworker/best friend who was there for me during the event that gave me PTSD gently explained that it's the same color as partially dried blood. Also, don't clap behind my head as a "joke". Just don't. Yes, after the first time, I will seriously have you written up.

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u/clownmannolaugh May 01 '22

People clap behind your back as a joke ? Knowing you have PTSD ? Thats no where near a joke, thats cruel.

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u/Cauliflower_Mean Apr 30 '22 Narwhal Salute

Yep. I have PTSD from a car accident 8 years ago. Was hospitalized for almost a week, in ICU because my lungs got damaged a bit, broke my collarbone and got glass shards in my skin causing multiple wounds. I still get flashbacks, psychosomatic pains and nightmares. Sometimes even a certain smell can cause me to have a flashback while I'm awake. Worst thing is, I don't feel like I can tell anyone when I feel that immense amount of fear and pain, because I was told that I was being stupid and silly feeling this way after only couple weeks after the accident. That I should've got over it by then. I'm still not over it...

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u/Evelyn_KMP Apr 30 '22

I advise that you go to a therapist if you're over 18 and don't live in US, if you do it's free and you could feel a little better

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u/Cauliflower_Mean Apr 30 '22

Thanks. I've been in therapy for two years now. Sometimes it would be great to discuss about that incident with the people who were involved in it with me, tho.

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u/Evelyn_KMP Apr 30 '22

I get what you mean, but sometimes people are too scarred to even accept that it's ok to be open about things or even to be afraid For example; I forget easily and can't bring myself to talk about stuff a while after they happen; recording your thoughts right after helps tho

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u/Clean_Ad2102 Apr 30 '22

I am so sorry you are not being respected or validated. I had to be somewhere that I could say my 'feelings'. I needed the time to bring myself back. PTSD is no joke. Nothing to be ashamed about. Reach out via google and find trauma treatment. EMDR is, IMHO, a good sign you may be in the right direction. I lost my entire family over their malucioysness. Hugs

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

This! I was literally triggered by my paper shredder tonight because I thought it was going to explode and I have safety trigger issues. But people who don't understand complex trauama will never get that.

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u/synodicstardust Apr 30 '22 Helpful

That you can’t just “snap out of it”, or “take a walk”, or “get out of your room” to feel better. And with self harm, you can’t just say “stop doing xyz”. Believe me I would have stopped years ago if I could. It’s not that damn easy.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

Exactly. None of it is easy. It is possible though. As someone who used to self-harm for years, I can assure you there's hope. I hope you find it, too. *hugs* <3

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u/synodicstardust Apr 30 '22

Thank you! I’ve made a ton of progress the past couple years. I’m also seeing someone for help. And same to you <3

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u/Mrmayman1 Apr 30 '22

As someone who does self harm, It's true that I can't just stop it.

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u/wickawickawacha Apr 30 '22

No longer demonizing people with psychosis would be great—and if mental health awareness initiatives spoke about psychosis, like, ever. We know anxiety and depression exist.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

This. I experienced psychosis during a manic episode, and I can't imagine having to go through it on a regular basis. And I agree, the media focuses enough on depression and anxiety and not enough on more stigmatized mental illnesses. I hope you know you're valid, even if it's just coming from an internet stranger.

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u/c_357 Apr 30 '22

100000%. Could not agree with you more. People really don’t even know what acute psychosis is.

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u/SquatchLiquor31 Apr 30 '22

This 100%. When I was 22 I began noticing signs of psychosis (had them a while before then, just didn't notice it until hindsight). I'm not an attractive, talented, or charismatic person but I am intelligent and I feared that my only asset (as I thought at the time) was going to disappear as I slipped into madness. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 23 and had a few really rough years. My now wife pulled me through (never kicking but often screaming at the voices) and now I'm 28 and functioning well. My family kicked me out upon finding out because they thought I was going to kill them. I was not well enough to tell my wife (dating at the time) and lived in my car for a couple weeks til she figured it out.

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u/slipperyinit Apr 30 '22 edited Apr 30 '22

I’m 18 and started having delusions and paranoia at 16, out of nowhere. Doctor was very worried, it seemed like it was going to develop into long term schizophrenia and she was prepared for that to happen. Thanks to medication, self work and some therapy - 2 years later although I still struggle with anxiety and depression, I have no delusions whatsoever, the paranoia hasn’t completely subsided but it’s like more of a small ‘indicator’ in my brain and doesn’t bother me too much.

Before, I had panic attacks leaving the house and feeling watched and spied on, I now walk the dog for an hour everyday and it’s almost peaceful. I’ve progressed down to the lowest dose of my antipsychotic and hope to come off it in the next year. I’m just so so glad I got treatment, and very early on. God knows where I’d be without it. Medication gets a bad rep but it really does save lives.

Along with meds the 2nd best thing I did was push through (advice from my doctor). Although I didn’t do this until I got a lot better. Just started leaving the house and letting the panic attacks happen. It was hell for months but one day it wasn’t quite as bad although painful (mentally). Few months later it was a bit painful. And here I am now a year after pushing past. Letting my brain see that nothing bad is actually going to happen. Hoping to fully recover.

A third thing is fact checking all of my beliefs/information coming in. Things I don’t know for a fact, I started to question them and look into them. Looking at the facts, even doing some research, applying logic. I genuinely believe you can be perfectly healthy/‘stable’ but think yourself into being very paranoid and delusional. Especially after covid

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u/Roninkin Apr 30 '22

I’m so happy for ya dude!! Good on you! My SO’s brother is schizo and after the rough time he’s doing okay too. It’s a spectrum not a “def what we show on tv” vs just someone who has some problems. Good on you dude :)

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u/ilovedtransyIvania Apr 30 '22

That panic attacks aren’t just being a little anxious and they can happen even over just normal happy things.

I went out to eat with some friends and ended up having a panic attack that lasted 4 hours with severe shaking,couldn’t breathe,chest and stomach pains,constant headache,was tense/couldn’t move out of one spot and if i tried i could barely walk. and the shaking didn’t go away for an additional 2 more hours and made it to where it took me a long ass time to navigate my phone/grab anything. And panic attacks/anxiety attacks aren’t really the same thing.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22 Helpful

This. And in addition, you can have silent panic attacks where those physical symptoms aren't outwardly displayed so no one can see how much you're suffering and when you try to tell them you're having a panic attack they look at you like you're crazy.

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u/TeamWaffleStomp Apr 30 '22

I hate those. At least when Im in the floor pissing myself and shaking its apparent I'm going through something over here. With a silent panic attack people just think you're being bitchy/dramatic/in a bad mood and start getting defensive when you tell them you're having an attack and can they just be quiet for for bit?

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u/AffectionateOwl8182 Apr 30 '22

I had a bad one like that. It was uncomfortable how much I was shaking and hyperventilating. I had to be put on oxygen and it finally stopped shortly before the ambulance got to the hospital. I never had one before that lasted hours. It was hell.

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u/Gay-and-Happy Apr 30 '22

To add to that, panic attacks aren’t just the feeling/fast heart beat etc; you genuinely believe that you’re in serious danger. If I’m having a panic attack, I could not give less shits about “deep breathing”; all I care about is trying to get away from the threat.

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u/shikshakvibe Apr 30 '22

ADHD can be crippling. There comes a point it no longer feels like “I have adhd” it feels like “I have a disease”. Trying to do tasks is a mountain. Whether it’s the lack of focus and concentration for problem solving and staying on track, constant distractions, big and small ones, losing track of the small details and getting caught up in little side quests, or better yet to summarize it all, doing absolutely everything and somehow getting nothing done

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u/HgDaQuietKid99 Apr 30 '22

I think I have ADHD and I really am afraid to tell anyone because of the disease thing you said.It is honestly annoying

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u/jollyTrapezist Apr 30 '22

Don't stay silent. I have only been diagnosed recently, meaning that I've spend my whole 24 years of life absolutely miserable. I struggled with everything, got treated with various antidepressants for nothing (they had no effects because the depression was caused by my "untreated" ADHD), and found unhealthy ways to cope (mostly addiction and destructive behaviors). All while feeling like an alien on Earth, unable to understand why I couldn't function like the other, why I couldn't achieve anything. Please get diagnosed if you ever suspect that you have ADHD. It's not a disease, our brain is just wired differently and forced to live in a society that isn't adapted to it.

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u/HgDaQuietKid99 Apr 30 '22

I am only a kid that is why I am staying silent.Imma make a post about it anyway just don't know which sub to send to..

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u/CthulhuBut2FeetTall Apr 30 '22

Diagnosed a few months ago as an adult. Got on meds and my life turned around. Turns out most people don't live in a constant roiling ocean of their own thoughts and impulses. It's a real condition that stems from genuine differences in brain chemistry. Talk to a professional.

Edit: Oh, and even if you don't get on meds being diagnosed can help you understand coping strategies.

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u/Natty_Pigeon Apr 30 '22

That, and trying to explain the brain fog when you get home, and the paralysis- like yes, I know I need to do homework, I'm panicking because this essay is due in a few hours, I KNOW: But I can't open my laptop and look at the instructions. I'm not lazy, or "just forgetful", I literally CAN NOT do it.

Scientists are also discovering that ADHD can be coapparent with chronic pain disorders as well. The lack of dopamine can make the smallest pain seem like the worst thing ever. I dropped a carribeaner on my knee and hit the ground in tears so fast that my boss thought something was wrong. I can take blows- I've been kicked, thrown, bitten, sling, flipped, knocked out, and mounted (don't ask) by horses- but jamming my finger will knock me down and out.

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u/neurodivergentwhale Apr 30 '22

The worst lesson I’ve learned in life is how adulthood and executive dysfunction don’t mix. The older I get, the more debilitating it becomes. Probably because when I was younger, it’s not as if the household depended on me cleaning all the dishes or keeping up with bills.

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u/tjmaxal Apr 30 '22 Take My Energy Bravo!

That it’s just health.

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u/foreveralonesolo Apr 30 '22

Honestly it’s so annoying when people try to characterize it as “in your head” when it can affect you across the board. Take care of yourself in every manner

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u/Lavender_Rose9 Apr 30 '22

To all the "it's just in your head" people: Yes. That is accurate. But, the brain is also an organ in your body, but nobody shames you if your heart (for example) starts acting up. Why should the brain be any different? Seriously, this statement gets old real fast.

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u/keepthepennys Apr 30 '22

Exactly, especially when the brain being Ill is a lot more dangerous than problems with the rest. Anxiety will shorten your life more than a heart condition, and may even give you a heart condition. Same applies to drug use which is incredibly common among depressed and anxious people, and unfortunately suicide

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u/Echo1016 Apr 30 '22

Your brain actually physically changes when you have depression and a large number of other things. There are PHYSICAL changes. Yes. It is INSIDE my head, it's in my skull. There is nothing mental about it other than the side effects of the physical change going on

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u/sherbertbustop Apr 30 '22

It's all things. It's your heart, head, your gut, everything. You lose all sense of the realness of things. Everything is fuzzy, like looking through bathroom window glass. You can't think of what to say, or what to answer. You forget things. You have intense pain in your body or emptiness (I used to stop eating as hunger felt better than emptiness). You try to get out and fall back even further. It is unseen and misunderstood. It does not need doctors to tell you that you have BPD because you don't respond to their medications, or try to go to work when you are clearly still unwell but trying to be well. It is understood better by therapists (not the analytical ones, who sit there and don't talk to you) who get in the more with you and help you out. It is never understood by psychiatrists unless they've had that illness. Mine is chemical, situational and historical. I need meds, therapy, understanding and, now, someone to sort out HRT as this has hit me hard. Wanting to kill people and self isn't the best path into my 50th year. It pissed me off that there is no decent early intervention for us, that there is nothing for our kids and no-one thinks to add mental health promotion to school curriculum. Shocking.

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u/curlthelip Apr 30 '22

Yes. It’s physical.

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u/JournalistTough1453 Apr 30 '22

Postpartum depression is real

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u/elljobellnackle Apr 30 '22

On a related note, postpartum psychosis is also real.

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u/FuzzyDogs19 Apr 30 '22

That sometimes it just happens even when it doesn't make any logical sense.

Also going for a walk isn't going to magically cure your depression.

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u/Klubbis Apr 30 '22

I’m depressed. I’ve gone for walks regularly since forever. It’s like a routine of mine. When I went on walks when I wasn’t depressed, it made me feel great. Even if it makes me feel a little bit better right now, it’s definitely not going to cure my depression. I just do it because it’s a routine and I force myself to instead of basically doing nothing at home, even if I don’t have any motivation to do it anymore.

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u/FuzzyDogs19 Apr 30 '22

Walks are really nice. I agree that they help, but I have known people who legit think that it's going to cure depression.

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u/ShinyAfro Apr 30 '22

Honestly walks are a bit weak. At the start they will do the trick but eventually you will out-grow the dopamine release in terms of fitness. I have been diagnosed with depression and being pretty obese I started walking to the point every time I got home I would collapse on the carpet and feel my heart race in a not very pleasant manner while I gasped for air. Dopamine high was probably the most intense high I have ever had that first week. Kept walking for a few months before giving up since it was nothing like before and instead picked up cycling. Been cycling for 6 months now and have never had issues with depression over these 9 months, except leading up to when I stopped walking for a month or so. Got really bad to the point where I had the most trippy experience where I felt like I was playing a game in third person rather then truly alive.

Also my depression comes and goes but usually at much smaller time-frames, Which is how I even started picking it up. During my usual phase I would drop any form of activity that I picked up like walking etc. The only reason I managed walking for 3 months is because it became habit. I just started every day and kept pushing it for that dopamine hit. Cycling is actually more of a passion. I used to ride motor bikes as a kid and honestly due to my current level of fitness I actually ride faster (Not bragging, Mini-bikes are pretty damn slow lol). Before when I felt numb I would pig out on icecream, Now I got for a ride. Much healthier now because of it. 70% of the way to my healthy BMI currently.

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u/jjbatta Apr 30 '22

That getting someone help when they are starting to show signs of depression can save their life

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u/kauljppp Apr 30 '22

Or stop their life from going down a dreadful path for years.

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u/Starlightt04 Apr 30 '22

That it’s not as easy as “just breathe” (anxiety) or “smile more” (depression) or “it’s just a bad dream” (ptsd) or “you should eat more” etc. That unless you’ve suffered from it, you cannot possibly understand how it affects others.

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u/Vast_Satisfaction383 Apr 30 '22

Or "just get it over with" (ADD), or "you realize you could instead spend that time doing xyz" (dermatillomania, trick, and similar disorders)

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u/vivaenmiriana Apr 30 '22

for my add it wasn't "get over it" it was "why are you so lazy? why are you so messy? why are you making so many careless mistakes? Am i boring you? (when i was listening just not looking at their face), That's not real, you just want to avoid doing work. all followed by "I expect better from you because you're smart." as though being smart cancels out the add like a math problem.

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u/pixelkyokokirigiri Apr 30 '22

is it just me or were all the kids with undiagnosed adhd (at the time) the "gifted kid?"

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u/AkaneUwUr Apr 30 '22

I actually was thinking about that, I'm 19 yo, and I started to do a research about ADHD cuz I feel like it would be the answer for all the problems I had since I was a child... My teachers always said "She's so smart, she must have a superior IQ than other kids" etc, etc. But always struggling to do everything that don't stimulate me

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u/YellowSubmarineBee Apr 30 '22

Idk if mine is related but I was in the “gifted program“ as a kid and I always felt like I didn’t really know what it meant and people praised my smartness but the fact is idk why they did that, my adhd actually is so distracting and the executive dysfunction and learning disability made it really hard to pass classes I definitely thought people thought I was big brain smart or something for the program but I’m a person that struggles with learning a lot

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u/Select-Bullfrog-5939 Apr 30 '22

i don’t know about you, but when my adhd was undiagnosed i would scream at the top of my lungs for the littlest things. definitely not gifted.

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u/pixelkyokokirigiri Apr 30 '22

i straight up told my mom you could put me in an all white room with white everything and nothing but me and my worksheets and i would still be distracted by something. adhd at its finest

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u/Vast_Satisfaction383 Apr 30 '22

This reminds me of how my mom described me as a baby, content to sit and apparently think for hours in my high chair. I'm introverted and was depressed so not many people initially believed I was ADHD

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u/pixelkyokokirigiri Apr 30 '22

i would daydream and play with my pencils and erasers as if they were dolls lmao

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u/toidi_diputs Apr 30 '22

I especially hate it when my mom, of all people, the person who gave me C-PTSD, (You know, the kind that you get from sustained, inescapable, reoccurring trauma, like growing up in a situation of child abuse) tries to contrast my PTSD with the battlefield kind of PTSD as a means of trying to diminish the validity of my experience. An experience that, let me remind you, I had from her.

I fucking hate being back in contact with her. It was that or go homeless, and she just loves to remind me that I made the wrong choice.

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u/firedrake1988 Apr 30 '22

It was that or go homeless,

Damn, that's a shit decision to have to make. Sending love and support your way. Not sure if relevant or not, but r/raisedbynarsissists has lots of (moral) support for dealing with POS parents.

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u/DecentSubstance2140 Apr 30 '22

I feel for you dude. I chose homelessness.

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u/crochet4cptsd Apr 30 '22

PTSD nightmares aren't a joke. There is no "it was just a dream" when you wake up literally trying to grab the closest thing to you to defend yourself from the people that broke into your house to get to you and your partner (that don't actually exist) and you actually see them for the first few seconds you're awake. I've had people judge me for calling out of work for PTSD. Like okay Brenda, you wake up in the middle of the night to your heart beating the fastest you've ever felt, ready to fight for your life, and then spend the next two hours in the bathroom throwing up from the visceral memories and tell me how you do.

I'm okay now, lots of therapy and working on it day by day, but there was a really really rough patch I wouldn't wish on anyone.

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u/Viperbunny Apr 30 '22

When my PTSD nightmares get bad I start crying and screaming in my sleep. My husband has to wake me. My mil thinks I live in the past. No, I don't. I DO have PTSD.

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u/jayareyouwing Apr 30 '22

I often have dreams where I wake up so distraught it can take me hours to come down from the overload of excessive anxiety

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u/Outside-Ad5897 Apr 30 '22

I was told to put it in a box inside my mind. It's not that easy when you have multiple issues.

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u/Restricted_Nuggies Apr 30 '22

That young children and teens can have mental issues. So many people don’t understand that

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u/pisceanm00n Apr 30 '22

This. It can present very different in these two populations vs adults

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u/pixelkyokokirigiri Apr 30 '22

exactly, like do mental health issues just magically appear once you turn 18?

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u/PowerGamer310 Apr 30 '22

Telling someone they should be grateful for the life they have doesn't help, it just makes them feel worse.

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u/intet42 Apr 30 '22

I once saw a fantastic analogy--Saying "How can you have depression? Your life is so great!" is like saying, "How can you have asthma? There's so much air in here!"

Similarly, I once mentioned to my ex that I felt depressed and they were like, "Why?" I said, "If there was a why, I'd just be sad, not depressed!"

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u/lefindecheri Apr 30 '22 edited May 02 '22

So totally agree. When both of my children were struggling with severe mental health issues (crippling Asperger's for sweet son and major debilitating eating disorder for lovely daughter), I was so depressed and anxious. My best friend refused to sympathize and told me, "Count your blessings. Just be happy he's not in Afghanistan getting his head blown off and she's not a homeless whore." Well, sure I'm glad they're not that, but it doesn't make me HAPPY that other people have it worse. My children both have horrible issues that I'm trying to help them with, both emotionally and financially draining. There's an expression that applies to some parents: You're only as happy as your least happy child. That applies to me. I can't be happy if my children are suffering. So, sure, it could be worse, but it's pretty bad now. And the fact that other people are suffering more doesn't comfort me.

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u/muerta Apr 30 '22 Helpful

Mentally ill people are more likely to be the victim of crime than the perpetrator.

Also, coping skills and mental health support are for everyone.

ALSO stop pushing mindfulness and self-care as a replacement cure for burnout over decent pay, adequate staffing, and real work-life balance.

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u/PodcastJunkie Apr 30 '22 edited Apr 30 '22

No, just stop pushing mindfulness and self care for ANY mental health troubles. Mindfulness and self care should be the minimum everyone does and is nothing to do with mental health. Mindfulness courses are the most useless cheap crap practitioners provide to people who are in actual crisis and sincerely seeking help and support. Mindfulness provides neither but the hospital is able to tick a box saying they provided treatment to a mental health patient.

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u/reason2listen Apr 30 '22

For a lot of people, an introduction to mindfulness is a great first step towards improving their mental health. It’s very hard to change something that you can’t notice is happening.

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u/tattooed_valkyrie Apr 30 '22

Mindfulness needs to be introduced and taught in the right way. It will always be negative to me because it was shown on a video during an impatient stay after trying to kill myself, so now I am very mindful I failed at killing myself.

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u/Crabsheep Apr 30 '22

That ASD isn’t just an excuse to misbehave, and that even mild ASD makes life much harder.

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u/BusySeagulls1967 Apr 30 '22

Totally agree with this

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u/LittleLight729 Apr 30 '22

I think the most difficult thing about it is getting people to understand that it’s difficult being this way. I have ADHD and I knew a lot of people who didn’t understand it and ask, “why is this so difficult for you, why can’t you be simple?” Or “why can’t you be more like…” I’m always fighting this fight.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

There's so much about ADHD that's still misunderstood, sadly. And MH in general. It's not just about being hyper and not being able to pay attention.

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u/lucy_r_2000 Apr 30 '22

That OCD doesn’t always mean cleaning or physical repetition. I have to repeat phrases in my head over and over again, a specific way at a specific point on journeys, for example and I will go into full panic if I’m late for anything. I cannot be late and I immediately think someone has died or something awful has happened, and it’s my fault as I didn’t repeat my phrases at the correct place/time, if someone is even a few minutes late. That time is absolute torture to me and will send my mental repetitions and self blame into overdrive. You can’t always see OCD! Also, when people say, “I have (folding towels for example) OCD, lol. You don’t. You like to fold your towels in a certain way and spend time doing so, get annoyed when they’re not folded correctly. You do not have to think about and check repeatedly that they are folded a certain way, to the point that your everyday functions and thought processes are impaired and overwhelmed. You don’t hear of a traffic accident and immediately blame your towel folding and have to go back to fold the towels a certain way, a certain amount of times to prevent further disasters. It’s not a joke or something flippant!

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u/Otie1983 Apr 30 '22

So much this. I tend towards more obsessions than compulsions (I do have a handful of compulsions like hand washing and trich… but they are comparatively easier to work around and reduce frequency of occurrence to the point neither have a negative impact on my day to day life). Some days the smallest thing can trigger the obsessive thoughts and Ill be stuck in a loop of panic because I had a thought that made me scared (like if my usual headache is slightly worse than normal, I end up obsessing that it’s an aneurysm), which causes a physical reaction, that in turn makes the thought worse because clearly I’m experiencing something a normal healthy person shouldn’t, which increases the panic and the severity of the physical reaction, etc… the worst is, logically, you KNOW it’s entirely your brain coming up with utter BS, but no matter what you tell your brain, it just counters with “Yeah, but what if?” over and over.

The amount of times I’ve shut people up when they’re like “Oh, haha, I’m a little OCD about ____” by just replying about my OCD mental break at 21, leaving them realizing that no dear, liking your closet organized by colour isn’t OCD, it’s just your personal organizational system… it’s rather amusing because you can just watch their mind through their eyes as they realize “Oooh shit… I didn’t realize OCD was like THAT!” The portrayal of OCD as being the “quirky fun” mental illness is a major issue, because even folks with other mental illnesses, even within the anxiety spectrum, don’t always recognize how debilitating it can be. I’m extremely lucky that my OCD responded quite well to medication… I went from my obsessions causing half a dozen minor panic attacks a day (the day of my mental break I had three major ones over the course of six hours, I hadn’t fully recovered from one before the next started) and taking up around 90% of my mental energy during my waking hours… to now, I may have a mild panic attack once a month, and mentally spend less than 5% of my waking hours dealing with it on average. I still struggle with it occasionally, and have learned I’ll likely need to be on meds for it permanently… but I’m not overwhelmed by it anymore.

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u/lucy_r_2000 Apr 30 '22

Exactly. Sending hugs! It’s an incredibly hard, lonely, guilt ridden existence. Fear of forming any relationships or pushing away family in case you lose them and it being your fault. Lots of CBT, the right medication and very patient partners helps though. The obsessive thoughts still occur but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. You can’t be “a little bit OCD about something” and the Media portrayal is utterly frustrating.

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u/YellowSubmarineBee Apr 30 '22

Thank you for putting my thoughts into words

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u/lucy_r_2000 Apr 30 '22

First time I’ve put it out there, it feels good x

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u/kdogg417 Apr 30 '22

I wish more people would be patient and kind towards others because we never know who among us is quietly suffering from a mental illness.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

I wish that, too.

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u/Cytokine_storm Apr 30 '22

Sometimes the people with the mental illness don't know themselves. I went through horrible anxiety and depression in my PhD but somehow didn't ever think it was bad. It is only years later that I am now understanding how bad I was and how lucky I was to be able to pull myself out of it when I quit my PhD. I'm doing therapy now for things that happened >6 years ago.

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u/Peterwithnobones Apr 30 '22

It's not a one size for all and the "remedies" aren't either

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u/Onautopilotsendhelp Apr 30 '22

That it isn't just a mental illness. It has physical symptoms as well. A lot of them say "It's all in your head."

Depression can cause sleep issues (insomnia or hypersomnia), body aches and pain, migraines, extreme fatigue, appetite issues (increased or decreased appetite), memory loss, lack of concentration, early awakening, excessive crying, restless sleep, CHEST PAINS, little to no libido, and many others.

I have dealt with it for over a decade and it isn't the fact you can't just will yourself out of bed. It's literally waking up and your energy level is at zero.

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u/Silver_Dragon_526 Apr 30 '22

Girls can have ADHD.

I dont just need to "try harder" because they "know I have the potential if I just applied myself." I have a dopamine deficiency that is literally preventing me from doing things that will cause me physical pain or trigger an unnecessary panic attack. Things that you can do normally because you already are above the dopamine threshold.

I'm not lazy. (See above paragraph)

That it's all just "in my head." Its a MENTAL illness, where the fuck do you think it’s located?

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u/Unlucky_Subject_5900 Apr 30 '22

That knowing that I'm depressed doesn't mean I know how to get out of it. A lot of people (especially family) talk as if me being diagnosed with depression by a professional years ago means that me still having depression now is a sign of me not trying to get better. Just invalidates all the work I've put into parts of my life and mental health that have improved over the years.

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u/fishforbass23 Apr 30 '22

That we cant just stop having it. If im having a panic attack, i cant just go "ok im done" and it be over. Anxiety and depression is not something you can just ignore and hope it goes away and its not something that you can just shrug your shoulders and pretend its not happening cause it is.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22 edited May 02 '22

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u/DazedandFloating Apr 30 '22

One of my parents always used to tell me that I just wasnt trying hard enough when my anxiety would get in the way of things.

Like if it was that easy to do something, don’t you think I would’ve done it??

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u/captain-trips__ Apr 30 '22

The one that always gets me is "calm down"/"you don't need to worry because-" like I don't know that it's irrational to be sick to your stomach after socializing with people because you second guess everything you said. My husband wants to help by solving the problem, it's hard for people to understand if they don't have it. I just tell him "Look I don't have an 'anxiety in order', it's a DISorder, it's not going to be logical and I can't debate it into going away."

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u/fishforbass23 Apr 30 '22

And when someone says its all in your head and stop thinking about it. Oh i didn't realize it was that easy. Or they tell me to go outside as if it will help

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u/HADESmusicundrgrnd Apr 30 '22

That me being depressed isn't simply me just "not trying".

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u/codece Apr 30 '22

One of my oldest friends, whom I have known for 30 years, has the attitude "well he knows what he needs to do, and he won't do it, so fuck him."

We were talking about another mutual friend ("Mark"), who was an alcoholic also suffering from depression. These two lived just a few houses away on the same street (I'm about 30 miles away.)

I just could not understand (and still am troubled by) my buddy's callous lack of empathy. Doesn't he understand that Mark's condition is itself what is preventing him from getting help?

Mark later committed suicide by shooting himself in the head in his garage while his wife and kids were home. Mark's widow is still angry at my friend. Mark had opened up to him and admitted his problems, and this was the reaction he got from someone he thought was a close friend.

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u/HADESmusicundrgrnd Apr 30 '22

People make it feel like blowing your brains out might help them understand. As long as you're alive they just figure you want attention.

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u/Gay-and-Happy Apr 30 '22

This. Suicidal thoughts and even attempts are really downplayed; just a sign that maybe it’s “moderate depression” rather than “mild depression”. Then when an attempt is successful suddenly it’s a “great tragedy” and “I can’t imagine how bad they must have felt to lead them to do that”. Yes you did know Karen; they told you many times, you just didn’t take it seriously until there were results.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

I’m sorry you lost your friend hugs

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u/fillmewithmemesdaddy Apr 30 '22

That better be an ex-buddy. whether intentional or unintentional, he indirectly killed Mark

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u/rhi_ing231 Apr 30 '22

Gonna add ADHD to this as well :')

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u/thegandork Apr 30 '22

It is impossible to understand mental health issues unless you've experienced them

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u/BoringNameBoringLife Apr 30 '22

The coping skill "Distraction"

That just puts my shit off for later and inflates it more. Then it's too overwhelming and I shut down/dissociate.

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u/Proof-of-existence Apr 30 '22

There's no cure. It's going to be constant maintenance.

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u/Arathius8 Apr 30 '22

Not necessarily.

For some it is, especially when there is a prevalent biological predisposition.

I am a therapist and I can say from experience that thankfully this is not always the case. Many people use therapy and medications for a time until one day they simply no longer need them. They don’t need to maintain every day. Some may never need therapy again. I just wanted to throw this reply in here in case anyone sees the earlier response and is feeling hopeless. Sometimes there is a cure. Sometimes it’s just time. Sometimes it’s therapy. Sometimes it’s a ton of intermixing convoluted things.

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u/tashten Apr 30 '22

"Constant vigilance!"

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u/jonesthejovial Apr 30 '22

Constant (hyper)vigilance! Lol

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u/fainting-goat Apr 30 '22

Imagine your car got into an accident and the frame is bent. Every technician has a solution, bang this dent out, put it on the rack, change the camber angle. Car still never rolls true.

But you’re the car.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

People talk a lot about the gory details of their issues online, where it might be easier. In real life, someone might not be comfortable talking about it constantly. It might even be too genuinely triggering.

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u/ooooooooono Apr 30 '22

Exactly

I had a friend who I started messaging more frequently online during the pandemic, and I voiced a lot of stuff to him about my mental that I never say out loud. In fact, I think that was the first time I ever really opened up. However, when classes started again and we met up, it was freaking awkward, as I soon realized that most of our conversation topics online were far deeper than anything I ever said outloud and I felt deeply uncomfortable

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u/lepusvulpis Apr 30 '22

telling people to stop self harming because it’s “hurting you” does not help. it is not hurting you. all you’re doing is making them guilty, which probably leads to more self harm because it’s a coping mechanism

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u/huffcat Apr 30 '22

Depression doesn’t mean you’re sad or need cheering up or need to snap out of it.

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u/Bythelakeguy Apr 30 '22

When you have a cold, people can see the symptoms on you. It’s the same with depression. Flat affect, withdrawal, and frustration are symptoms. I don’t want them. I hope to hide them. I just can’t all the time.

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u/goldensavage216 Apr 30 '22

I have adhd, and one thing I often do is pace back and forth. I have noticed that some people are uncomfortable seeing me pace across the room. The only thing is that it is hard to explain why I pace back and forth when asked to sit down

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u/lilisophieraris Apr 30 '22

It’s called stimming. It’s totally normal and everyone stims sometimes, it’s just more essential for neurodivergent people. We need it to regulate ourselves, but neurotypicals can also stim.

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u/TeamWaffleStomp Apr 30 '22

Dude I know the pain. I've noticed when I have too much energy at work but have to stand in one spot, I subconsciously stomp in place like a goddamn horse to the beat in my head. My boss made a horse joke at me the other day and I was like shit how often do I do that? Daily. I do it daily.

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u/visibali Apr 30 '22

As someone who works in a psychiatric hospital I don't even know where to start.

I guess the main one is mental health is not a joke and there's nothing to be embarrassed about

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u/smallemochick Apr 30 '22

how extremely difficult it is some days to perform basic hygiene. I haven't had the energy to take a shower for the last 2 weeks (i take baths still, not the best but it's something). Same with brushing my teeth. I know it's gross but I just can't get myself to do it most days.

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u/Anne_Anonymous Apr 30 '22

This is extremely relatable right now.

We all have our different strategies for functioning when we feel our least functional - if baths are what you can manage right now, that is a great “compromise”! I hope you have some nice bath-bombs or bubble bath on hand to really treat yourself a bit!

Something that I’ve found has helped me a great deal on the hygiene front is the mindset that “perfect is the enemy of good”. Eg. On the days I’m struggling to will myself to even brush my teeth, I have more success when I give myself permission to stop if I need, or to accept a half-measure for the time being (eg gargling with mouthwash, or chewing gum with xylitol takes very little effort and does support dental hygiene, and makes me feel considerably less “funky”). More often than not, getting started on anything at all convinces me to do a little more, until I’ve managed to complete all/most of my oral hygiene.

Reducing barriers/“energy-wasters” has also helped me a bit. Eg. Buying a cheap $30CAD electric toothbrush vs manual brushing. I also have been trying to keep things close at hand for the particularly rough days (eg there’s no reason I can’t brush my hair or put on deodorant in bed if I really need to). Making sure I have an “early win” has been beneficial to improving my hygiene too. Eg. I have a cheap “sunshine light” I can turn on without getting out of bed; I commit to putting it on for 10 mins in the morning to support my mental health (whether it actually does anything is debatable…) and it’s so easily completed that I can guarantee my success with it daily…which in turn encourages me to get to my next task on my to-do list (hygiene).

I don’t know if any of this is helpful or applicable to you, but just throwing some ideas your way!

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u/bad-at-buttons Apr 30 '22

Brushing my teeth has always been my hardest task. It helped me a lot when I heard "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" if I can't do the full two minutes then brushing 30 seconds is better than not at all. If you just can't shower today- taking a bath is a great alternative.

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u/Catlesley Apr 30 '22

How utterly debilitating depression can be…I literally am on my couch, in the same spot, for days, sometimes weeks (like lately). Same clothes, no shower and no eating usually. Sucks. Good luck to everyone out there with mental health issues of any type.

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u/Sylene37 Apr 30 '22

I’m with you here. Each morning I struggle to get out of bed. Seems like I’m not making it more often than not right now. As long as we keep waking up, I’m calling it a win.

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u/throw1away9932s Apr 30 '22

I feel you. Legit slept through the last day. Meds do help but sadly are often gate kept by misinformation and cost. I started ssri again last week. I’m about 4 weeks I’ll start to feel a bit more human again. It sucks.

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u/Tiny_Teach_5466 Apr 30 '22

This. There are been times that I literally didn't get out of bed the whole weekend. People are so quick to call you "lazy", especially if you're overweight. Like you would choose THIS over a happy productive life.

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u/ipakookapi Apr 30 '22

Sincerely hope it gets better for you 💛

Everything about depression sucks but the apathy and anhedonia just makes it so much harder to get out of. Why work my ass off to try to get better when I literally can't experience pleasure?

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

hugs you’re not alone and I know it sucks and my random internet comment doesn’t necessarily help.

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u/tsukk11-simp Apr 30 '22

being depressed isn't something fun and quirky. saying, "omg i'm sooo depressed!!" isn't funny or cute. my depression has been so bad that getting out of bed feels impossible. the days are so long if i don't sleep through them and i'm late for work a lot. i haven't brushed my teeth in days, i don't even remember when i had my last shower, but i do remember sitting in the shower floor for over an hour just letting the hot water get cold. i feel sick all the time because i don't eat properly. and adding something embarrassing onto not being able to get out of bed, i have pissed the bed before because i literally could not get out of my bed. i cried because of how fucking embarrassed i was about this.

and there is so much more than that. the constant headaches, feeling numb, being too sensitive, being physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, not wanting to do things you used to love, not wanting to be around friends and family, resorting to addiction, and lastly, suicidal thoughts. all of it is just fucking awful.

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u/ipakookapi Apr 30 '22

Clinical depression and just feeling a bit blue are completly different, yes. But hyperbole in everyday speech is normal. People who say they are grieving a cancelled sitcom aren't actually comparing it to losing a loved one in real life.

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u/Comprehensive-Style9 Apr 30 '22

There's nothing wrong with stimming. If there's someone stimming in public, stop looking. You're making their anxiety worse.

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u/Bobglobslob Apr 30 '22

That OCD is much more than just “I want everything to be symmetrical”.

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u/AutisticHistoryLover Apr 30 '22

It's just as important as physical health. Just because it isn't visible and is inside your head, rather than physically shown doesn't make it not important.

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u/Silly_Fox_149 Apr 30 '22

Recently diagnosed with Bipolar with psychotic features. I had my first psychotic episode complete with auditory, visual, olfactory, tactile and gustatory hallucinations. Delusions… oh the delusions. It ended me in the psych ward for a week. It took me 5 months to even begin to feel like a human. My brain was mush, I couldn’t even form complete sentences that made sense at times. I fell into a pit of depression I had never experienced before. I was unable to work as I was a danger to myself for roughly 3 weeks before anyone intervened and the reality that I was living in my brain was so far from the reality that was unfolding in my “real life”. Many loved ones walked away from me. I lost friends and family both. My own parents didn’t even check in on me. It was all left to my boyfriend and best friend to navigate the nightmare that was unfolding before them… I guess what I really wish people understood was that while I was in that state of psychosis I had very little insight into what was happening and no control over it happening. I wish doctors understood why it happened. And I some times wish everyone had to go through one episode of psychosis in their lifetime to help them better understand what it is like to go through it and hopefully have a better understanding of how to help someone who struggles with this disease.

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u/ShadesVessel Apr 30 '22

It isn’t a way to fake and get views/subscribers/follows, doing that gives less credit who are actually dealing with those things and trying to make the best of what they have.

If you are specifically going out of your way to pretend you have a mental disorder, you’re and asshole

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

How you can’t just diet and exercise your way out of it. The number of times I have been told I wouldn’t have depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder if I just cut out gluten or stopped eating red meat is crazy. Also stop telling me to calm down? When has that ever worked for anything let alone a mental health problem. There also needs to be more discussion on how difficult it is to get treatment. Even if you want it. The waitlists for psychiatric care is crazy and sometimes not covered by insurance. Having to fight insurance and try to get into see the doctor are sometimes too much for me to deal with.

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u/mala_cavilla Apr 30 '22

I'm with you about the exercise and diet. My last therapist, and floating psychiatrist (long story), I had detailed out the changes I made in a year with diet and exercise. But even seeing my data, they kept insisting that it was helping when I was saying it was not. I even brought up how last time I was trying to get into running (about 6 years prior) I would self hurt during runs. Back then too I was eating super healthy and yet still felt terrible. Diet and exercise, while something I'll keep trying to do, is not a silver bullet for everyone.

And I'm with you on the wait lists. Took me 1.5 years to get into care last time I tried. It was a mess, and yeah sucks so much to deal with ghost networks and the like. One of my doctors actually was a coauthor on the ghost network study, found out a year after he left my hospital haha.

Sorry I can't say anything to make it better, just that I hear you and these are also my two biggest gripes as well.

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u/Ok-Resolve-266 Apr 30 '22

Communication disorders or issues. It's not easy to talk fo random people. Like even you have to its gonna take some time

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u/novabcwhynot Apr 30 '22

“Stop being depressed just be happy” not possible. And yes a lot of people do say this seriously

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u/kotibi Apr 30 '22

People with mental illness are good employees, good partners, good friends, and good people.

If you are struggling with a mental illness, know that you are a worthwhile human being who has so much to offer. Your survival is so important. Your life and your time on this earth are important. Inherently.

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u/PovoRetare Apr 30 '22

We're not weak minded or lesser humans because we're mentally ill.

This wasn't a decision we took, or some moral failing on our parts.

The brain is incredibly complex, things go wrong with it for many different reasons and sometimes can't be fixed.

Medications don't always work for everyone, neither does therapy.

Mental illness can make a person feel very lonely and excluded from society so being supportive in a respectful way can be really helpful.

Just to know someone is there to listen if we need them makes a big difference even if we don't show it.

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u/Rising-Pheonix420 Apr 30 '22

Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

These are so often misdiagnosed for one another and it’s so frustrating.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

The fact that medicine can't erase all mental illnesses. I started Lexapro a few months ago, and a lot of my friends were wondering why I was still depressed. It doesn't just *POOF* disappear. It stays, the meds are just supposed to take the edge off of it. Also, I can't just "be happy" or "pay attention." If I could, I would. (I'm mainly talking about depression, but the meds part can be the same for other illnesses! Remember you aren't alone, and help IS out there, no matter how desperate it seems.)

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u/inbruges99 Apr 30 '22

Also people react differently to different meds and it can sometimes take years of trying out different ones to find what works best for you.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

Definitely. I tried Zoloft for years, and it didn't work, plus it had some really negative side effects (behavior issues). Medicine is all about finding the one that works for you and your body. I just feel like medicine is really overlooked and misunderstood a lot of times.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

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u/lilisophieraris Apr 30 '22

Yes, adhd or autism isn’t good or bad. It just is. It’s just a natural variation of the brain. It’s not a superpower not a disease. It is a disability because of the social model of disability, but that just confirms our struggles are only because of society and not because there’s anything wrong with us.

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u/museumlad Apr 30 '22

When you're in a very shitty situation and then get out of it and are "safe" you can absolutely have a period of rapidly and severely declining mental health. That in itself can feel very isolating and confusing, because things are supposed to get better once you're out of shitty situations and you may feel guilty for getting worse.

This is normal! And it passes! You may need outside help to get it to pass, but it can and will get better! It's not a "sign" that things were "better" in the shitty situation, it means that you've passed out of survival mode and are in processing and healing mode.

If you have a friend or loved one who has recently left a bad situation, now is the time to ramp up your support, and remember to take care of your own mental health while you support them.

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u/intet42 Apr 30 '22

You can't just willpower away mental illness, AND there are conscious steps you can take to chip away at it over time.

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u/TodayI-Forgot Apr 30 '22

How good it can make you at hiding/lying.

I have had multiple panic attacks; no one has seen them. When I was suicidal no one notice because I didn't want them to.

I know I am not alone in that. That sometimes the people struggling the most are the ones who look like they have it all together. Sometimes they don't have it together, their just better at lying about it then you.

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u/ConsciousMap7 Apr 30 '22

That feeling suicidal isn't selfish

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u/S_0FIA Apr 30 '22

That eating disorders aren't a physical illness, and you don't need to be morbidly obese or underweight to have one. Also, that social media isn't the root cause of all eating disorders, like anorexia. Like, I got anorexia a while ago and it had nothing to do with instagram models or whatever, it had to do with my family life. Social media just made it worse.

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u/purplefox-312 Apr 30 '22

That it’s not something that you can just “snap out of”. We aren’t like this because we want to be.

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u/nellyfishhh Apr 30 '22

i WANT to do things. i WANT to be able to complete tasks on time/in general. but sometimes i just CANT. im always trying my best.

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u/trisharae_88 Apr 30 '22

No I am not lazy. My narcolepsy is just kills my motivation because I am always EXHAUSTED. (I really miss pre- narcolepsy me). Sometimes it is torture just standing because my body feels 3 times as heavy. Also brain fog is a struggle….

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u/cozyyellowcardigan Apr 30 '22

That nobody is immune to suffering with mental health issues.

Even people who seemingly have a stable (or better) life can still suffer with any kind of mental illness, and having stability isn't and shouldn't be seen as an immediate reason not to suffer.

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u/SecretlyBiPolar Apr 30 '22

That being bipolar isn't someone who gets mad easily, or has mood swings. Bipolar Disorder is much more complex, has a cycle of mania or hypomania and depression.

It requires medication, and studies show that both mania and depression can have degenerative effects on the brain. Researchers aren't sure as to the full extent of this, or necessarily why it occurs, or honestly how to stop it. Medicinal intervention is currently the standard.

It has done more damage to my life than I'll ever be comfortable explaining, and there are people that to this day I wish I could apologize to, as my manic episodes effected their lives negatively. It's a real shitty card to be dealt. I just wish people didn't throw around the term so loosely. To each their own though.

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u/AggravatedAutist Apr 30 '22

How debilitating it can be to regular life.

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u/Polyphemus117 Apr 30 '22

That no amount of yoga, essential oils, and positive thoughts will cure it.

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u/nutcasedoctor Apr 30 '22

That a lot of percentage of children is undergoing mental health issues because of toxic environments at home/school, and no one cares to look deep enough to recognise these. Like "children have NO stress.. why would they go into any kind of depression?"

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

I was put out of public school because of this. Not once did they decide to investigate my home life. I would’ve been put into foster care much sooner if they had done it from the first sign. It kills me to look back and see myself in kindergarten hiding in corners or playing alone with my imaginary friends because I was traumatized repeatedly at a young age. I was just told I was weird and even got punished for it.

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u/dammagedone Apr 30 '22

Mental illness is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. When people claim to have OCD (or whatever else) because of a minor little habit, the callousness of it just pisses me off.

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u/mychemicaldante Apr 30 '22

im not just lazy and no, i DONT like living in a dirty house. i so severely wish i could get up and clean, but it's something that feels impossible a lot of the time.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

I wish people would stop equating it with stupidity. In actuality, many mentally ill people have above average intelligence levels.

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u/FCFirework Apr 30 '22

In actuality mental health likely has little input on a person's intelligence (depending on the issue). Not a doctor, this just seems like a logical conclusion.

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u/wkautumn Apr 30 '22

Not sure if you're agreeing or disagreeing, but there are studies on this if you're interested either way.

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u/FCFirework Apr 30 '22

A bit of both combined with personal experience.

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u/woodyfromthehoody Apr 30 '22

over 200 comments and not one of them mentioning one of the most debilitating conditions: anger. i have lived with nearly uncontrollable anger for over 30 years and it is the absolute worst condition. i've had severe depression, multiple suicude attempts, and minor psychosis, all of them paled in comparison to the anger. i get irrationally angry at small things, but i cant control that. i try to keep my anger under control, but it is insanely difficult. anger is the worst and most difficult emotion to deal with, yet this has been my lot. people tend to see it as just someone is angry all the time and not someone who has anger issues and trauma that surfaces at random times. i grew up in a very abusive and toxic household, and while most people turned that into anxiety and panic attacks, i turned it into fits of violent rage. i also wish i wasn't like this, i wish i could just be happy, content even, and not be bothered by small things, but is not that easy. i wish more people could/would recognize certain anger issues for what they are, and not just judge someone for being angry. my gf has depression and anxiety issues and it's taken her over two years to recognize my anger as a serious condition and not just being an asshole, but i'm glad she's coming around and working on it.

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u/JustPassingShhh Apr 30 '22

"Its all in your head"

No shit Sherlock!

Want me to flip my skull open, remove a few bits and rearrange my brain to work correctly?

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u/CoMMoN_EnEmY01 Apr 30 '22

That anxiety ignores rationality.

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u/TrEvIzE18 Apr 30 '22

The fact that you can have mental health issues without a medical paper.

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u/koewenhavner Apr 30 '22

That the words we use when we talk about mental health matter. It matters if you use phrases like “I just loves order, totally ocd” or “I’m so depressed because there’s no new season of my favourite show”. Or say bipolar about a person who changes their mood, say a kid with energy has adhd or say that something is schizo. It seems small for some people. Words influence the way we think about things like mental illness, how serious it is and what we should do about it. It matters.

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u/k4leuniverse Apr 30 '22

That it can easily manifest into physical pains.

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u/CyberAurelius Apr 30 '22

Anxiety, university lecturers don't care

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u/Frodo_noooo Apr 30 '22

Being manic isn't a superpower. Yeah, I feel great and creative and spontaneous and energetic for a bit, but there's no cap to it. Those feelings and emotions and thoughts don't shut off once I'm done being creative. They don't let you sleep, they don't let you work, they don't let you function, and by the end of it they don't let you think straight.

Sometimes, you're lucky and you get to just veg our on a couch and space out to tv shows until it passes, sometimes you're not so lucky and you spend thousands of dollars on thing you don't need or even want. Sometimes, you say and do things that ruin friendships.

And sometimes, this happens multiple times a year. Being manic is not a super power, it's a curse you have to contain with pills and strict rules for your mental health.

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u/Business_Shame_9203 Apr 30 '22

It actually exists.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

That i actually need help

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u/LtCptSuicide Apr 30 '22

Just how fucking exhausting it is.

Or how more times than not we are very VERY acutely aware how much it's hurting those around us.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

That depression is crippling, I don't mean like being bombarded with bad thoughts. It's like painful, it feels like someone cutting into your skull with a hot knife and egging on. You just want the pain to stop, you'd do anything. hell you'd cut of your own hands if it meant the pain would stop. The amount of years that depression stole from is unbearable, you spend so many days just being in bed, somedays your so sad you can't even find the energy to get out bed, it's too much energy to eat, to much energy to pee, too much energy to smoke weed. That's when I've known I'm really down, when I can't do anything. You ever travelled somewhere really cool and felt excited, well with depression it's like you feel nothing, sure where you are is pretty but that pain lingers, and the sadness get's worse. Couple that with CPTSD and I don't even know how I lived through it.

I've been depression free for 4 months and I really hope it never returns, if it does, I don't want to live through it again. I cured it for the time being by changing my diet, I'm celiac, and that caused me to feel suicidal. Ever since cutting out gluten I've been feeling normal. Which is crazy, I'm just praying to whatever god is out there, that this is the end of it. But that fear lingers in the back of my mind.

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u/Eastern_Slide7507 Apr 30 '22

Everything is a spectrum. I don’t have to be suicidal for my depression to be taken seriously.

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u/zenyato_ Apr 30 '22

Depression from the bad education system. People don't even care about it . In India it is the worst, parents forcing their children to study non stop without a break.

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u/shindleria Apr 30 '22

Entities such as universities and large corporations that promote their leadership and investment in mental health support and awareness tend to be the most abusive causes/sources of mental illness victims in our society. They also tend to spend more money and resources covering up abuse within their ranks by paying out settlements and signing non-disclosure agreements to bury these crimes under the rug.

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u/newb_44 Apr 30 '22

man i love this thread, makes me understand how others feel

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u/Krotesk Apr 30 '22

The argument :"they are just looking for attention." Is correct in the most infuriating way.

YES they are looking for attention... Because they are in need of help.

If you are on the ground with a broken leg you would most likely also try to seek attention. Just because you can't see schizophrenia or depression doesn't mean it is non-existent.

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u/4N7HR4C173 Apr 30 '22

It's way less "classy" than you think, sometimes. Stop glamorizing it.

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u/Brrrawn Apr 30 '22

That social anxiety disorder is legit disorder and can be debilitating and at worst invalidizing

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u/svenbern Apr 30 '22

This may be controversial here but -

Even though Medication can help some people it COMPLETELY DESTROYS others ,like literally ruins their lives and they would recover without it . Tons of research showing this .

Also , Misdiagnosis is RAMPANT .

Often people just want therapy and someone to talk to and they end up getting completely misdiagnosed and forcefully medicated.

And it is well established that many Medications can cause symptoms of Mental Illness but Psychiatrists tend to ignore this . Eg. Antipsychotics can cause Psychosis via Supersensitivity and Antideppresants can cause Mania.( among multiple other truly awful side effects like Parkinsonism )

All these things have been established in Research ; beyond a shadow of a doubt , but largely ignored/glazed over by Mental Health Professionals.

So, in short, Medications can help some people but have truly woeful side effects and seriously damage a lot of people.

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u/SewerRatPumpkinPie Apr 30 '22

Victim shaming is REAL... Never tell anyone to "just get over it". That never works, and actually just makes it worse.

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u/that_random_girl3141 Apr 30 '22

That the stereotypes aren't always true and can be hurtful. OCD isn't always being clean, BPD and schizophrenia don't automatically make you dangerous or abusive, etc.

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u/Oligabu Apr 30 '22

Drug addiction is a mental issue, not a decision

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u/OverPot Apr 30 '22

Just because I'm good on stage, giving presentations and working clouds doesn't mean I don't have mind numbing anxiety one on one. Do you know how long I practice speeches erx before I do them??