r/instant_regret 14d ago Wholesome (Pro) 1 Helpful 4 Wholesome 3

Making new friends

37.0k Upvotes

2.7k

u/Caranath128 14d ago

We have feral hogs in the area. The local bears know better than to get in their way.

840

u/bumbletowne 14d ago

I was going to say, I lead hikes in some state parks seasonally and a feral boar will fuck up just about anything you'd find. Actually anything. They'd fuck up anything. They are huge, fast, smart as hell and move like a fucking ghost.

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u/CarnibusCareo 14d ago edited 13d ago Take My Energy

When we were in basic training for voluntary military service we had boars and feral hogs on this training ground where we had the outdoor training operation.
Got the instructions before we started and got told to run and climb the next tree as fucking fast as we could when we saw a boar or a hog.
In a huge crowd full of testosterone filled, soon to be killing machines just above 18 years old you got the clever "yeah let’em come, I got an assault riffle" kinda guy.
Instructor repeated himself very slowly, explaining that it is in the fucking woods, middle of the night and no one ain‘t gonna be firing wildly because no one is gonna be able to fire or when fire, hit something. And first and foremost you be busy shitting your pants because it is fucking scary.
So we were out in the woods, middle of the night all fucking dark.
We were out there with our little scenario practicing how to be good lil‘ soldiers.
Some one yells "BOOOAAAR" and that huge crowd full of testosterone filled, soon to be killing machines just above 18 years old with their assault riffles sitting in the trees, waiting for the groundskeeper and the local forest ranger to get rid off the group of youngling boars.
I have never been so fucking terrified in my life.
TL;DR
Encountered a group of young boars in the middle of the night, while basic training.
Everybody was scared shitless waiting in the trees for Hagrid to show up and save us.
As you wrote, they move like ghost.
Shit ain‘t like in the Asterix comics.

Edith, just to be clear:
In Germany we had this thing were young dudes had to choose between voluntary military service for 10 month or voluntary civil service for 12 months when said young dudes reached 18 and were done with school or their 3 years of job training.
Most people saw this as a boy scout party with the opportunity to shoot guns and riffles.
In no way you were trained as a killing machine.
But testosterone filled dudes just above 18 years being testosterone filled dudes just above 18 years saw themselves as testosterone filled killing machines because they had this military life style for a month or so.
After your basic and specialized training you were likely to get a boring job at a desk, a sick bay or a machine shop.
I worked at a dentist‘s office, dodging duty, playing playstation, reading pulp magazines and eating 5 meals a day.

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u/skatern8r 14d ago

Reminds me of how terrified a group of wildland fire fighting bad asses were of bees. They all scream and run like small children.

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u/Snoo3014 14d ago

Lmao you mean warn others and gtfo of the area?? I've done that several times, when you hit a wasp nest, they immediately swarm. The "tough" guys end up spending the last week on the fire with their face swollen to twice the size. Try working 12hr days looking like Quasimodo. Or go home and lose thousands...

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u/skatern8r 13d ago

I was part of the crew. So I understand. But it is the tone of voice in which they yell "BEEE'S!" that always cracked me up.

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u/OkSo-NowWhat 14d ago

Shoutout to Obelix

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u/CarnibusCareo 14d ago

My boi!

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u/OkSo-NowWhat 14d ago

Woman but whatever ;)

I always wanted a white small dog I'd either call Struppy (from Tintin) or Idefix!

Franco Belgian comics are just great

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u/CarnibusCareo 13d ago

I meant my boi Obelix, my gal! Yes!
That was my dream, my own lil Idefix!
Or the Marsupilami from Spirou and Fantasio.
Franco Belgian comics were my first love.

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u/sirlapse 13d ago

I love Marsupilami or Spiralis as he is called in Norwegian.

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u/JohnnyRelentless 14d ago

So they did what they were told to, like soldiers should. There's nothing wrong with that.

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u/Inferno792 14d ago

True. The way he was mentioning those 18 year olds, I thought someone would be a rebel and fire or some shit and this would turn into a tragic story. Turns out it was just a bunch of scared kids doing what they were told, like they should.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 14d ago

[deleted]

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u/Buzzed-on-Lightbeer 14d ago

What makes you think he's American? Based on his post history, he's not.

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u/CarnibusCareo 14d ago

Thanks mate.
We had this thing in our country were you could choose between voluntary military service and voluntary civil service.
So we were just a bunch of kids who got the opportunity for basic and specialized training and pretty boring 8 month of pencil pushing afterwards.
But in our minds we were a mix of Rambo, Full Metal Jacket‘s Drill Sarge and Chuck Norris by the half of basic lol

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u/Neo-Saigon 14d ago

angry Bobby b noises

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u/blolfighter 14d ago

*airhorn noises*

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u/mayonaizmyinstrument 13d ago

GODS, I WAS STRONG THEN!

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u/Pyotr_WrangeI 14d ago

Man, imagine 30-50 of them run into your yard within 3-5 mins while your small kids play.

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u/PepsiStudent 14d ago

Between fighting a black bear and a hog I'll take a black bear. Between a grizzly and a hog I might just lay down and die.

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u/Kaiser_Maxtech 14d ago

spears for hog hunting had to have fucking prongs to the side so the damn beast couldnt run itself through fully and attack the spearman. Id take the bear over that meaty juggernaut any day

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u/_VictorTroska_ 14d ago

So you’re telling me mofos were out here huntin hogs with tridents like they’re Poseidon or some shit?

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u/dudemann 14d ago

If manatees lazily meandering around in the water are "sea cows", can you imagine what the sea version of a feral hog would be? One of those suckers swimming at you at 20 knots, getting speared and only mildly wincing, mouth filled with god knows what teeth, but jaws powerful enough to snap a femur if merely startled?

Edit: Thinking about it, I think I just described hippos.

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u/RockStar4341 14d ago

Yes, I believe you did. Hippos are terrifying. And so very hungry hungry.

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u/a_crusty_old_man 14d ago

I hear if you throw enough marbles at them they leave you alone

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u/dudemann 14d ago

If you scaled them both up, that marble would be like a bowling ball or cannon ball so, yea I'd bet they'd leave you alone forever.

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u/defiantketchup 14d ago

If anyone tells you this it’s a troll. The marbles only make them hungry hungrier

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u/ScabiesShark 14d ago

They eat until the world is devoid of marbles

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u/B33FHAMM3R 14d ago

Oh man that legitimately made me laugh out loud.

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u/ultrasuperthrowaway 14d ago

Hippos are scary sometimes the small brain and just all action is scarier than a smarter creature who would realize it’s not worth it and cut their losses at some point

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u/tenpaces 14d ago

This is why I don’t fuck with junkies

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u/SylviaDawnTreader 14d ago

Narwhals decided to use the spear instead.

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u/assmanatee 14d ago

At midnight.

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u/lasmis 14d ago

No. We are not doing that. Never.

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u/wolfgang784 14d ago

https://oriental-arms.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/14960a.jpg

Just meant to stop the body from sliding forward down the length of the pole. That design is from the 1830s.

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u/Apprehensivasdfc 14d ago

I think he might want a bacon flavored friend

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u/AshleyCanales 14d ago

Best laugh of the entire day from this comment. Thank you kindly

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u/Kaiser_Maxtech 14d ago

not quite, in fact the most common image people have in mind for spears are in fact boar spears. Essentially, its just an iron guard like from a sword attached to the bottom of the spearhead to hold the animal back. Afaik, these prongs werent sharp.

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u/zoeykailyn 14d ago

Cross bars will save your life with spear. You think hogs are bad try elk

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u/Delica4 14d ago

The little wings are ment to stop the boar after the blade fully penetrated.

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u/adrienjz888 14d ago

To be fair, a grizzly bear or any large aggressive animal will charge down a spear as well.

Black bears are kinda pussies so I'd rather deal with them over a boar, but a grizzly bear? No fuckin way lol, a boar will gore you to death pretty quick but grizzlies have been known to injure you enough to incapacitate you, eat some of you and leave, come back and eat more of you.

There was a woman who recorded the audio of a bear doing exactly what I mentioned and it was horrifying. I'll take a boar any day compared to that hell.

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u/Tardis_Of_Love 14d ago

Is she ok

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u/Affectionate_Ear7468 14d ago

Oh yeah , momma bear all fed and happy

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u/FeartheTurtle420 14d ago

If the video hes talking about is the same one that I saw then no unfortunately the woman did not make it. the guy was named grizzly man and he definitely came to grisly end

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u/DogmaticNuance 14d ago

They don't make spears for hunting grizzlies. If you're trying to hunt a brown bear with a spear you're fucked. Hogs are no joke and all that, but they don't approach grizzlies.

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u/Kaiser_Maxtech 14d ago

thats where youre wrong my friend! Large leaf spears were historically used to hunt bears. Including, but not limited to, the eurasian brown bear.

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u/transmogrified 14d ago

Which makes sense. If I were to poke a bear I’d want to make sure I was as far away as possible.

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u/Kaiser_Maxtech 14d ago

iirc the shaft wasnt much bigger than normal, if at all, youre fighting in a forest after all, but the speartip was oversized.

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u/myusernamebarelyfits 14d ago

Oi mate, whatever happens between your parents is their business.

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u/Nacil_54 14d ago edited 14d ago

okay so basically there's this guy and uhh

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u/BloodprinceOZ 14d ago

the bears will need an AR-15 if they want to take care of the feral hogs

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u/Happy_Mask_Salesman 14d ago

They'll need it, especially if there's 30-50 of them

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u/struglebus 14d ago

Extended mag and all.

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u/nsbcr1123 14d ago

You don’t seem to understand.

I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with me.

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u/Word_Iz_Bond 14d ago

Twitter laughed at the 30 - 50 feral hogs guy, but he genuinely had a good point.

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u/rickgene 14d ago

‘I like pigs. Cats look down on us. Dogs look up to us. Pigs treat us as equals.’

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u/nightskate 14d ago

Some pigs believe that some are more equal than others

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u/ams5657 13d ago

This is the best response I’ve seen all day

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u/goodbimf 14d ago

Well said Sean Bean

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u/msbaju 14d ago

Churchill!!

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u/goodbimf 14d ago

Yes but thanks to civilisation, I can only hear it in sean beans voice.

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u/RikRakJones 14d ago

Now I understand why boars are such stupid scary wildlife in video games. Finally.

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u/Dr_Jabroski 14d ago

There's an entire Polish children's poem about not fucking with boars.

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u/mcchino64 14d ago

…go on

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u/Dr_Jabroski 14d ago

Translated from memory:

The boar is wild,

The boar is angry,

The boar has very sharp tusks.

Who encounters the boar in the forest,

Quickly climbs a tree.

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u/Briar_Thorn 14d ago Helpful (Pro)

The blunt efficiency with which this "poem" joylessly lists boar facts is quintessentially and endearingly Polish.

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u/I_devour_your_pets 14d ago

It's meant to be a bore.

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u/ScabiesShark 14d ago

And yet it really gets stuck in you for some reason

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u/JasperLamarCrabbb 14d ago

Bro this comment's got me rollin

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u/ImaNukeYourFace 14d ago

I’m sure it rhymes and/or has some more poetic cadence in Polish rather than English. It is pretty funny translated tho

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u/1_more_cheomosome 14d ago

Here a polish version:

Dzik jest dziki, dzik jest zły Dzik ma bardzo ostre kły. Kto spotyka w lesie dzika, Ten na drzewo zaraz zmyka.

There are some rhymes but it mostly just sounds better in polish. Also there is a pun since "wild" and "boar" are homonyms

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u/pqlamznxjsiw 13d ago

Reformatted:

Dzik jest dziki, dzik jest zły
Dzik ma bardzo ostre kły.
Kto spotyka w lesie dzika,
Ten na drzewo zaraz zmyka.

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u/DisgruntledTomato 14d ago

I'm sure there's something lost in translation

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u/JarasM 14d ago

Not really, except for rhymes. It's more of a children's rhyme, so it's simple and it's just supposed to be entertaining as a rhyme itself. Similarly you probably shouldn't expect a lot from "twinkle twinkle little star".

The main missing "pun" here is that "boar" in Polish literally translates into something like "a wild" ("boar is wild" = "dzik jest dziki"). So in Polish it sounds like "A wild is wild"

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u/TheAustinEditor 14d ago

No go to sleep, children.

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u/throttle88 14d ago

Poles are so serious about boars that we named the animal after world "wild" (wild - dziki; boar - dzik). So the poem goes "dzik jest dziki". Now I think about it, it may be the other way around and "dzik" was first

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u/Stoogefrenzy3k 14d ago

Boars are scary when I saw them in the movie, Willow.

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u/Screeeboom 14d ago

Old yeller was the movie for me and my grandpa told me how "yeah they will mess you up good for real"

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u/tuigger 14d ago

Those were dogs covered in rat costumes.

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u/pitchesandthrows 14d ago

These aren't boars they're pigs lol

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u/c-honda 14d ago

When a pig is released into the wild within a few weeks it will start to grow thicker hair, tusks, and become more lean.

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u/ZombieBobaFett 14d ago

Boars are pigs. Just different names for the same thing.

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u/56380716427065231818 14d ago

They’re different species, Sus scrofa (boar) and Sus domesticus (domestic pig).

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u/ZombieBobaFett 14d ago

Whilst you're right, this is an issue of semantics, not that they have a different Latin name. The words boar, pig, and hog, can and are used interchangeably in different contexts. For example, a boar in farming terms can refer to a non-castrated male pig.

The user nitpicking about what is and isn't a boar just doesn't make sense, because they are words all interchanably used to describe animals of that genus.

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u/wolfsplosion 14d ago

You're kinda knit picking as well, just in a different direction but I gained knowledge from it so thanks! Ya boar

j/k op.

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u/Mikhail_Mengsk 14d ago

Boars are very common in my region. Once i was with my cAt at the vet and a full crew of hunters came in with their hunting dogs, all mildly fucked up by a single boar.

Funnily enough, the dogs' sizes varied wildly, from one who looked it could drive a truck to a small, fat one that looked an accountant ended up in the wrong place and just got brought on for laughs.

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u/oilsaintolis 14d ago

"small, fat one that looked an accountant ended up in the wrong place and just got brought on for laughs"

Round here we call 'em Ned Beatty

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u/SoberAnxiety 14d ago

im not trapped here with you, youre trapped here with...US

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u/Sendingmyregards 14d ago

That would be so fire if the second boar came running out with a Rorschach mask and hat

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u/AReallyBadEdit 14d ago

He came out like "They call me Mr. Pig!"

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u/captain_ender 14d ago

"Don't climb a tree to escape a bear, they're excellent climbers"

This bear vs a small fence

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u/Mr-Sister-Fister21 13d ago

Tremors of impact shook my jaw… warm blood splashed my face… whatever was left of Walter Kovhog died that day with that little bear… from then on, there was only Rorschog

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u/stripes_14 14d ago

This is like watching myself try to make friends. Similar skill level.

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u/qwicmbl 14d ago

Are you the hog or the bear?

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u/stripes_14 14d ago All-Seeing Upvote

The bear. The hog already has a friend.

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u/qwicmbl 14d ago

True. Maybe try finding people with similar interests as you. Bears like picnic baskets. Hogs like rolling in their own shit.

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u/merikaninjunwarrior 14d ago

Bears like picnic baskets.

RIP, OP

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u/Affectionate_Ear7468 14d ago

Hey boo boo you find a pic a nic basket?

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u/_Im_Dad 14d ago

It must be the way you climb over the fence then.. have you tried a different approach?

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u/SgtPeanutbutter 14d ago edited 14d ago

Self burn, love it. You're funny, witty and you don't take yourself seriously, those are highly valued qualities. I compared making friends to buying pants a while ago. Some people can grab any pair of pants off the shelf and it'll probably fit, but they got lucky with the common shape and proportions. Or there are people who will just take any pants without caring how it fits because having any pants is better than no pants. And then there are people who have a hard time finding pants because they don't have the cookie cutter shape, and they want comfortable pants that fit and they feel good wearing. They might have less pants cus it's harder for you to find the right one, but at least you don't look like an idiot

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u/Demodonaestus 14d ago

I'm not entirely sure what this means but I'm thankful you wrote it. Made me feel better about myself

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u/SgtPeanutbutter 14d ago

Some people find it easy to make friends, whatever about them is just easy for a lot of people to accept. Other people have a lot of friends because they don't really care what kind of friends they're getting as long as they're not alone. A lot of people have a hard time finding friends, or just don't have a lot of them, but at least you know the ones you have are good for you. And you're not wasting time looking or feeling stupid cus these people don't actually care about you.

Everyone has things about them that are gonna be off-putting to some people. If you find that something about you is generally off-putting, work on it. But otherwise it's just a personal preference and there's nothing you need to change about that.

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u/deepfriedschemes 14d ago

I'm not entirely sure what this means but I'd thankful you write it. Maked me feel better about myself.

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u/Islandcoda 14d ago

I wish I was cool like a hog. Dare to dream....

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u/Crayons4all 14d ago

Your just coming on too aggressive

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u/canadasleftnut 14d ago

I'm the fence

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u/companysOkay 14d ago

You let bears get on top of you?

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u/Time40sNuts 14d ago

That's a pretty solid fence haha

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u/bootes_droid 14d ago

Yeah it's gotta hold those two

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u/seductivestain 13d ago

Pigs are master fence destroyers, don't get pigs unless you have an incredibly durable fence that runs 3 feet into the ground

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u/Queephbubble 14d ago

And don’t come back!!

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u/_Im_Dad 14d ago

It bearly got out with it's life

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u/crailface 14d ago

well those pigs aren't boaring

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u/RealityAdjacentMan 14d ago

Bears are so beautiful. They're like big labradors that could take your face off.

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u/Amzuja 14d ago

Every bear video I’ve ever seen looks like a person in a bear suit

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u/RealityAdjacentMan 14d ago

Right!? It's wild how much they seem like us. If someone told me this was a video of me when I got drunk and wore a bear suit and wanted to hang out with some pigs, I wouldn't second guess it.

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u/imbillypardy 14d ago

The one where the bear whacks his nuts with a clothes line is amazingly human

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u/thepobv 14d ago

A person in a suit can't leap like that or accelerate at non human speed. That's usually when I'm able to tell the diff.

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u/dfreinc 14d ago

i've been told that you can just threaten a black bear and they'll act like this and jet. worst case scenario you can just hit them. they run. they're not the bear from the revenant. 😂

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u/mikyuo 14d ago

If its brown, lie down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, say goodnight.

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u/TheRespectableMrSalt 14d ago

If it's panda?

Spectacled bear?

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u/Curious_Exploder 14d ago

If it's panda pretend you're Santa. If it's spectacled grab the testicle(ds).

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u/Mookies_Bett 14d ago

If it's a panda just walk the other way because Pandas are fucking morons who are far too stupid to keep themselves alive without human intervention.

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u/trodat5204 14d ago

Pandas were doing just fine on their own for thousands of years. They are a highly specialised species for their ecological niche - that we destroyed. That's the reason they are dying out, or at least would if we wouldn't keep trying to artificially breed them in captivity (that's what is not working. Again, pandas have been living and breeding on this planet for a long time with no problems) with no place to eventually have them live other than zoos, just to keep them around and be able to look at them and kid ourselves into believing we did not kill off that entire species, but rather that we "saved" them. I don't know how anyone can look at that situation and come to the conclusion the animals are the morons here.

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u/carpenalldemdiems 14d ago

don’t get me STARTED on Koalas.

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u/EvanHitmen11 14d ago

If a koala is hittin’ ya, get tested for chlamydia

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u/punkminkis 14d ago

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u/BlueberryHandz 14d ago

Arriving in South Africa: a survival guide

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u/Emergency-Anywhere51 14d ago

These police slogans are getting weirder and weider

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u/jtrick18 14d ago

Black bears are more afraid of humans than humans are of them. They will run like hell if given the opportunity. Brown bears or grizzlies, different story. Okay dead and hope you aren’t soon dead.

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u/suchlargeportions 14d ago

I mean if you have to be dead hopefully it's soon. Better than being conscious for like 15 hours while the bear eats you.

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u/merikaninjunwarrior 14d ago

Brown bears or grizzlies, different story

we know, we've all seen the documentary Legends Of The Fall

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u/RageCageJables 14d ago

You underestimate my fear.

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u/TheTrueHapHazard 14d ago

Unless it's a mama black bear who thinks you're threatening her cubs. Then they can be vicious, but usually they'll just try to get you to back off.

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u/Norman_Scum 14d ago

Yeah but you have to watch out for the mother bears. They will get a little spicy over their cubs.

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u/SolarCarrotFarmer 14d ago

Not always true. If they are used to people they don’t really give a shit. I thought the same thing when I tried to chase one off from my family’s campsite and the damn thing squared up with me. It also charged my wife and he probably would have got her had it not been for our border collie and pit mix charging right back.

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u/MyNameSpaghette 14d ago

I'll bear that in mind

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u/Kate_4_President 14d ago

u/Dr_Apk why did you mirror the video?

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u/unwantedposterboy 14d ago edited 13d ago

So he could repost it and reap the karmas, obviously.

Cropped out the watermark too.

https://old.reddit.com/r/instant_regret/comments/thlf5i/bear_regrets_jumping_in_pig_pen/

https://old.reddit.com/r/instant_regret/comments/tkug47/pork_is_on_the_menu_or_is_it/


This one appears to be the original.

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/duplicates/th0b2c/pigs_fight_off_a_bear/

For all the whiners: It's a valid URL in a web browser. If you're using an app made specifically for Reddit and still can't see it, then it is you that is using an app that has decreased functionality. Not my problem.

Maybe you shouldn't be using a 3rd rate app developed by a propaganda think tank to keep you from seeing everything there is.

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u/enby_them 14d ago

That third link is broken for me, but this looks like a different angle and edit of the video from the first too. Those start with the bear getting ready to hop the fence, and the camera is much higher

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u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 8d ago

[deleted]

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u/Divio42 14d ago

Thought this looked familiar. Second time I've seen someone do this this week.

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u/do_better_tomorrow 14d ago

Good question. OP? Comment?

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u/Nova_Physika 14d ago

Karma bot

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u/Seligas 14d ago

Yeah. I had saw this before and remembered the other pig coming out from a shelter on the right, not the left. Glad someone else noticed.

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u/pirate_starbridge 14d ago

I fucking knew it

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u/-comfypants 14d ago

My bad…I’ll just see myself out…

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u/SgtPeanutbutter 14d ago

Everything I've seen on Reddit has taught me that bears are not very brave or smart for being an apex predator. Literally just survived by being the biggest

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u/Antonin__Dvorak 14d ago

Black bears are hardly predators at all, they're mostly herbivores with some occasional fish or baby mammals.

Grizzlies or - heaven forbid - polar bears are another story entirely.

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u/LynxBartle 14d ago

yeah, black bears are scavengers before predators. anything for an easy meal. they'll run from their shadow if it looks at them the wrong way.

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u/Saturn5mtw 14d ago

(Which is sometimes the better option)

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u/capn_ed 13d ago

they'll run from their shadow if it looks at them the wrong way.

To be fair, I would run away too if my shadow was looking at me in a strange way.

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u/eristicforfun 14d ago

Grizzly will eat a black bear.

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u/FresnoMac 14d ago

Polar bears are also the only known species on earth to actively think of humans and hunt them as prey.

If a Grizzly sees you from a mile away, it will likely leave you alone. If a Polar sees you from a mile away, it says "Wow, that's lunch". And it will come after you.

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u/trudenter 13d ago

Not the only species,

Most reported cases of man-eaters have involved lions, tigers, leopards, polar bears, and large crocodilians. However, they are not the only predators that will attack humans if given the chance; a wide variety of species have also been known to adopt humans as usual prey, including various bears, Komodo dragons, spotted and striped hyenas.

And funnily enough when I googled this the first link said that pigs can develop a taste for human flesh.

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u/Mookies_Bett 14d ago

That's because most of the bears posted to reddit are black bears, who are generally pretty dopey and afraid of everything. You don't see many videos of grizzlies because anyone who gets close enough to get decent footage isn't making it back to be able to upload it anywhere.

Don't fuck with Grizzlies. They will fuck back, and you will die. Grizzlies are nasty fuckers.

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u/randomnpc9984 14d ago

I live in England. The idea of walking anywhere there could be a 1500lb predator that will literally eat you alive is mind-boggling.

I wouldn't be without something like a .44 magnum if there were even a tiny chance I might encounter one. Being defenceless when one might decide it wants to eat you sounds absolutely insane to me.

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u/LynxBartle 14d ago

black bears aren't even that big though. polar bears and grizzlies are big and scary predators, but black bears are timid scavengers. black bears will run from anything mildly aggressive towards them. that being said, don't mess with black bears. they will still ruin your day with ease.

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u/SuchRuin 14d ago

If it’s a bear I’m not assuming it’s a pussy.

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u/LynxBartle 14d ago

black bears are easily chased away by house cats. unless starving or raising young, they'll usually run from you. they can still open a locked car like a sardine can though.

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u/workrelatedstuffs 14d ago

What wouldn't run from a vicious house cat?

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u/Ginguraffe 14d ago

Black bears are usually still pretty timid even with cubs around.

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u/NoHoesInTheBroTub 14d ago

Black bears are glorified raccoons, brown bears and polar bears tho....

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u/annoyedapple921 14d ago

Brave, no, but definitely smart. The smartest option in most cases when confronted with danger is usually just to give up. Bears arent like people with medicine. One bad scratch or bite, even if they win a fight, could mean certain death by infection. It's usually better to go hungry for a night than to fight and risk even a small chance of major injury.

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u/ettorepolar 14d ago

And that's why manbearpig is so dangerous

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u/do_better_tomorrow 14d ago

What about PuppyMonkeyBaby?

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u/RebaKitten 14d ago

I hate that thing

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u/SlashThingy 14d ago

American ads are either horrible cheesy acting, or a fever dream.

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u/McGrampa 14d ago

Black bears are the puppy dogs of the bear world. Scold them and they run off. Gorgeous tho.

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u/The__Relentless 14d ago

Are you achin'? NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!
For some bacon? NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!

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u/scandalousmushroom 14d ago

MY NAME IS MISTER PIG!!!

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u/Far_Tale9953 14d ago

The pink pig is a female named Mary. she is currently at Tufts vet hospital with health issues, some of which were exacerbated by this encounter with the bear. so if you enjoyed this video say a quick prayer that Mary gets to come home and live happily ever after with her brother, Hammy, the other pig.

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u/Theartistcu 14d ago

Anyone who’s been around real hogs knew that bear was in trouble.

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u/hairyweinerdog 14d ago

It’s hard to make new friends as an adult. I feel for the poor guy…

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u/BitterAndJaded120 14d ago

"Get the fuck out of here, Yogi Bear! There ain't no picknick basket for you in this pen!"

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u/Tom_Cruise_Missiles 14d ago

Black. Fight back. I guess it works!

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u/i_hate_scp 14d ago

Looks like a bear made it into Majula.

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u/dork187 14d ago edited 14d ago

Are you trying to get a bearpig? This is how you get a bearpig...

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u/gilbertsquatch 14d ago

All the bear wanted was some bacon…

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u/983115 14d ago

“Okay shit, someone told me you were made of bacon, okay geez I’m leaving”

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u/Gooners84 14d ago

That's a fine pig!

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u/truthinlies 14d ago

That is a well built fence!

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u/confessionbearday 14d ago

Wrong fucking neighborhood Cletus

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u/Dafbug 14d ago

I am much, much, much more ok with crossing paths with a black bear when I’m out and about, fishing or hiking than I am a wild pig. Any day of the week, and twice on Sunday.

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u/klon3r 14d ago

Winnie the pooh & piglet are currently not in speaking terms... 🐻 🐷

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u/Caedes1 14d ago

"Cry havoc and let slip the hogs of war"

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u/SleeplessBob 13d ago

He wanted bacon, but got beef

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u/sneakhyperion 14d ago

This bacon is a bit too spicy

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u/abecido 14d ago

Somebody compared this with Russia and Ukraine in another sub, when I pointed out that the Ukraine would be the dirty pigs in the comparison. I got immediately banned lol.

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u/Definitely_Maybe_OK 14d ago

It's because the bear is black. What a pig.