r/therewasanattempt May 27 '22 Silver 7 Helpful 1 Wholesome 4

to eat the fermented pears and drive home

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

29.3k Upvotes

2.0k

u/thecyberguy81 May 27 '22 Wholesome

Them pears are hitting hard.

1.2k

u/YourAverageGod May 27 '22

My boy is absolutely fucking ZONKED

186

u/According-Teach-5866 May 27 '22 Silver

Zonkpunch?

18

u/Longjumping-Ad-5740 May 27 '22

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

87

u/SapphicPancakes May 27 '22

Is that a type of weed or something?

58

u/JaxandMia May 27 '22

So, I went down the rabbit hole (pun intended) and it as far as I can tell, without clicking any links, is that it is animated furry porn. My investigation is closed, that’s enough for today.

32

u/ImportanceNew4632 May 27 '22

Thanks for taking one for the team. I shall not continue your investigation.

14

u/According-Teach-5866 May 27 '22 Helpful

The proper term is “yiff”

4

u/SapphicPancakes 29d ago

You will never be forgotten. Thanks for doing the searching and sparing my eyes

3

u/Hurgles_the_Many 29d ago

....I clicked a link....I saw charizard and some rabbit....can confirm

→ More replies

148

u/According-Teach-5866 May 27 '22 Helpful

Yeah sure let’s go with that

54

u/Malvin231 May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22 Wholesome

I gave my free award allredy buy i just want to let you know that I would have given it to u if I had it

49

u/JeffreyAScott May 27 '22 Wholesome

No worries, I contributed mine for you. Normally I don't do that sort of thing, must be the fermented pears making me do that.

→ More replies

10

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie May 27 '22

You poor sheltered soul

2

u/MistaDaMankey May 27 '22

Yo lemme know, is it a type of weed

→ More replies

7

u/goatman0079 May 27 '22

Those who know

Vs

Those who don't know

In the replies

→ More replies
→ More replies

0

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies

98

u/00MarioBros00 May 27 '22

Love how he extended his little hand to hold the bowl.

20

u/parker1019 May 27 '22

Clearly has the spins….

12

u/Megmca May 27 '22

Must have had an empty stomach.

→ More replies

390

u/RandomThoughts30 May 27 '22

He found the way the earth spins

28

u/SiStErFiStEr1776 May 27 '22

Pretty sure that money or in my case weed

344

u/Anthony-ELRETRAHD May 27 '22

Squirrel: "These pears ain't shit"

Squirrel two seconds later:

1.1k

u/southsamurai May 27 '22 Silver

Little homie should be the mascot for r/tooktoomuch

48

u/__log May 27 '22

i second this

28

u/Pacman454 May 27 '22

I third this. Start the petition!!

23

u/Bullen-Noxen May 27 '22

Omg! Crop his face at about 3 seconds when his head is tilted to the side. Rofl, that’s the picture right there.

8

u/T65Bx May 27 '22

Wait this isn’t there?

→ More replies

831

u/CurrentlyARaccoon May 27 '22 Gold

How I feel in the bar bathroom gripping the sink while having an existential crisis with the mirror.

132

u/coffylover May 27 '22

Do you talk to the other you in the bar bathroom mirror when you have these crises? Cause I totally do, and that other bitch is MEAN

42

u/Hiseworns May 27 '22

Mirror Universe Me is a total dick, but can only be communicated with while under the influence of some good shit so I generally laugh at him anyway. I think it pisses him off

19

u/Mindes13 May 27 '22

You laugh now. You won't be laughing when he tosses you down some stairs.

24

u/Hiseworns May 27 '22

Well he looks just like me, so chances are he couldn't lift that much

17

u/Stoffys May 27 '22

Me to me: Damn bitch, you really look like that?

8

u/3029065 May 28 '22

"I look like a damn GHOUL."

12

u/Bullen-Noxen May 27 '22

“Hello darkness my old friend.....”

23

u/3029065 May 28 '22

Literally my first party experience. Had way too much to drink then took a huge bong rip (my first time smoking weed) the I nearly choked to death on room temperature cheddar cheese. After that I stumbled into the bathroom and had a nice heart to heart with myself. Then barfed on the floor and sink.

→ More replies

4

u/jmunerd May 28 '22

This is me in the backseat of an UBER fighting to keep one eye open so my head won’t spin and puke everywhere.

251

u/SmartChild203 May 27 '22

That guy is G O N E

72

u/WabbitCZEN May 27 '22

"Man these edibles ain't shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-."

293

u/Brickzarina May 27 '22

Aw poor little guy gonna have a hangover tomorrow

95

u/THE_BIG_SAD3 May 27 '22

Do animals get hangovers? Genuine question

184

u/P4intsplatter May 27 '22

Yes. Most mammals, and animals, process ethanol in a similar manner, hence the similar appearance of effects. There are even studies that use lab mice to test long term acclimatization to alcohol. Early circuses used alcohol to 'manage' elephant behavior, and Disney's Dumbo is actually based on an alcoholic elephant

a bottle of whiskey was brought and opened before him, an operation which he watched with a great deal of interest, holding his trunk curved upward in readiness for the draught. While the liquor was being emptied into the nostrils of his huge prehensile nose he never moved, and when he got it all he carried it around to his mouth with such precision as not to spill a drop. Then he emitted a big sigh of satisfaction.'

full article

The biggest issue, and the reason not to get your dog, or your squirrels, drunk for fun, is dosage. 1-2 shots is a very different dosage for a 60kg human vs a 0.6kg rodent. Hence this lil guy zonking on fermented fruit.

98

u/Barry_Duckhat May 27 '22

"I'm a rat lab, i got tested shampoo"

"Lucky you, i got injected with some shit and now I have diarrhea. Hey, what about you there in the corner?"

"I got fucking cirrhosis and I'm alcoholic"

27

u/Bullen-Noxen May 27 '22

Now they walk into a bar....

10

u/not_a_library May 27 '22

So if animals get hangovers, does that mean animals get headaches?

19

u/P4intsplatter May 27 '22

A headache can be subjective, it makes things like migraine research tricky. Where is the "pain" located?

For the most part, the data support the idea that animals get headaches, arthritis pain, and nausea similar to our human experiences. At least, things like children's Motrin or morphine change behavior of older dogs, horses etc. There is also evidence that appetite changes in "recovering" animals after fermentation consumption.

4

u/not_a_library May 28 '22

Fascinating. I get migraines and for some reason never questioned if my dog got headaches too.

6

u/P4intsplatter May 28 '22

Yep! Just stay away from acetaminophen (Tylenol) for the pup. Not all dogs have the same toxicity level (causes liver problems) but apparently some are more sensitive than others, and it's crapshoot who is.

We used light ibuprofen when our pup was teething, and it worked wonders on training. Apparently it's hard to learn with itchy gums and a headache 😅

8

u/Feature_Ornery May 28 '22

I'm pretty sure my childhood cat got brain freezes. Whenever the ice cream truck came buy, mom would buy a small cup for him and he'd eat some of it fast then stop suddenly and constantly shake his head in what appears to be pain. After a while he'd be fine and return to the ice cream.

7

u/DaveFinn May 28 '22

I couldn't tell you scientifically, but in college there was a frat with a dog named Ace that loved beer. Let's just say it was easy to tell when the dog was drunk the previous night, poor little hungover bastard

10

u/MaybeArnar May 27 '22

i genuinely don't think science can answer this yet

3

u/Omphalos__ May 28 '22

We get hangovers, I think its safe to assume at the very least that some mammals can as well.

-5

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[deleted]

15

u/teflong May 27 '22

Mind sharing your source, PETA?

All the stuff I googled show that squirrels often get drunk, even on their own.

I'm not saying it's a great thing to get a squirrel trashed, but it seems like you're pulling the "it's gonna die" from the deepest recesses of your ass.

→ More replies

8

u/BL4NK_D1CE May 27 '22

Well, this is complete bullshit

5

u/boofybutthole May 27 '22

Said with such extreme confidence too

4

u/Friendly-Tiger9589 May 27 '22

Lol right even fucking elephants can metabolize alcohol By my science That means squirrels can get tipsy Without dying Probably

3

u/GilgameshFFV May 27 '22

AFAIK cats can't though, so fuck do I know about squirrels.

1

u/ConnectConcern6 May 27 '22

You're a fucking idiot

→ More replies

384

u/Xul-luX May 27 '22

he realized the universe is his home.

47

u/Sampolis May 27 '22

He found the flesh of god and it was fermented pears!

93

u/unknown300BLKuser May 27 '22

I had a dog that would race to our pear tree after a pear dropped out to eat it. She would sit under that tree all summer long and eat pears. This makes me wonder if she was trying to eat fermented ones for the same effect.

30

u/mangoisNINJA May 27 '22

Don't think so, dogs can't process alcohol so unless it was intentionally trying to poison itself I think it just liked pears

15

u/unknown300BLKuser May 27 '22

Thank you, I didn't know that. Guess she just really liked to eat pears.

3

u/the_noodle May 27 '22

I thought the alcohol made you drunk until you processed it

19

u/BarbarianSpaceOpera May 27 '22

All mammals can metabolize alcohol.

32

u/mangoisNINJA May 27 '22

18

u/BarbarianSpaceOpera May 27 '22

I didn't say it was good for them.

28

u/sateremawe May 27 '22

well, it is not exactly good for us, either

5

u/mangoisNINJA May 27 '22

Then why would you say anything? It sounds like you're trying to contradict me with misinformation

4

u/Kazixo May 28 '22

We can metabolize alcohol, but it is also a poison to us. Same with all mammals.

6

u/BarbarianSpaceOpera May 28 '22

Because they can process it, just nowhere near as well as we can, which leads to them getting alcohol poisoning much more easily. If you give a dog a tiny amount of alcohol it isn't going to hurt them because their body will be able to handle it.

→ More replies
→ More replies

11

u/cantaloupelion May 28 '22

when i was a kid my dog used to sneak grapes whenever she could. All along the vine, thered be no grapes knee high or lower, just bare bunches 😂 some dogs really like sweet things like fruit other dogs dont really care :)

5

u/zemain May 28 '22

pretty sure grapes cause kidney failure in dogs.

11

u/SendingAFaxToBerlin May 28 '22

I take it your dog lived for a couple months or weeks then

7

u/cantaloupelion May 28 '22

oh no she lived a few years after this. we ended up locking her in the other yard for the next seasons so she couldnt get at them any more. Instead she'd sneak out to eat the strawberries when they were ripe, cos that yard had the vege patch in it 🤣

58

u/Under_Enrage May 27 '22

squirrel is trippin balls too much

15

u/SuspiciousInternet58 May 27 '22

Naw, he's driving to space.

43

u/GODDESS_OF_CRINGE__ May 27 '22

Lol, those jolts of alertness. NO WAIT what's happening... tired, dizzy, I'mma just sit down for a moment, OH NO I ALMOST FELL.

103

u/treatyose1f May 27 '22

Poor little guy. Probably terrified :(

54

u/YourLocalPotDealer May 27 '22

I know right , probably eating for comfort and getting even more fucked

25

u/FlexibleAsgardian May 28 '22

Or just dying from alcohol poisoning. I cant imagine it takes very much

41

u/mellowcrake May 27 '22

Yeah let's not forget someone purposely did this to the squirrel so they could get a "funny" video, not cool of them. If a predator comes by any time later that squirrel is dead

49

u/actuallyiamafish May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22

Take it easy there, bud. Fermentation is a natural process that just happens to fruits left laying around sometimes. We merely discovered it, we didn't invent it. Tons of animals including squirrels seek out fermented fruit on purpose, nobody's out here getting squirrels drunk for funsies.

23

u/xxSnusmumrikenxx May 27 '22

Every year, there would be a massive amount of Bohemian Waxwing's getting zonked on fermented rowanberries where I grew up. They sit around the trees chirping like old ladies at a tea serving. Sadly, some of them decided it was a good idea to try to fly, and ended up hitting windows/walls/cars in the neighbourhood.

Most of the survivors seemed to enjoy it tho.

10

u/VisceralVirus May 28 '22

There are about half a dozen vineyards in the valley where I live, there's always a time of year when the grapes ferment and you'll see swarms of birds acting all wobbly around the vineyards and on powelines by the road

0

u/SokkasSandals May 28 '22

nobody’s out here getting squirrels drunk for funsies.

Okay. So, they put out fresh pears and let them ferment and left the camera rolling. Then a week later, the pears are fermented and the camera captures the squirrel eating them?

14

u/tokoloshe_ May 28 '22

The camera is obviously is being held by a person, it’s not some sort of mounted cam. They probably just started filming when they saw the clearly fucked up squirrel

7

u/TravelingMan304 May 27 '22

When you live in a rural area squirrels can be a nuisance animal that is super hard to get rid of. They chew wires, wood, and fuck up your insulation making nests. Not to mention when they're in your walls or attic they're noisy as hell.

You can't poison them because they're eaten by other animals often enough that it cascades, and shooting 100 squirrels is a giant pain in the ass.. this actually looks like a reasonable solution.

Of course I may be wrong, and this person might just be a dick torturing animals for internet clout, but it's hard to say without more info.

1

u/SokkasSandals May 28 '22

Getting your pests drunk looks like a reasonable solution? I feel like traps would be more effective, if eradication was the goal. The goal here seems to be to get a video of a drunk squirrel.

→ More replies
→ More replies

19

u/Best_Temperature_549 May 27 '22

Terrified and quickly becoming an easy target for hawks and other predators 😔

15

u/or_so_they_said May 27 '22

damn hes gonna taste like those filled alcohol pralines

7

u/GMMoira May 28 '22

And thus the cycle continues...

5

u/ADHthaGreat May 28 '22

I highly doubt he’s terrified. I’m sure you know what alcohol does to mammals.

It is not known for making us more timid.

2

u/RawScallop May 28 '22

yes because no one has gotten too drunk and had a panic attack....

Shit the other week my friend got too drunk and was suddenly super scared her BF was gonna leave her.

I get drunk and I want to hide in my room.

3

u/codamission May 28 '22

The animal kingdom is well aware of what alchohol is and its effects. Elephamts are known to purposefully ferment certain fruits

→ More replies

9

u/JungleCatStevens May 27 '22

You good to climb bro?

7

u/NorMichtrailrider May 27 '22

Ive been there chipmunk bro ! Hold on son .!!!!

7

u/FuktInThePassword May 27 '22

Oh my god those sudden "WOAHMAN" jerks are the best. Like a little reincarnated Hunter S Thompson. Nobody tell him about the bats though. Poor bastard'll find out soon enough.

6

u/Tyler_Herdman May 28 '22

His controller has stick drift

6

u/vicaphit May 27 '22

Do pears ferment into Ketamine? That looks like a k-hole.

7

u/pagenath06 May 27 '22

I saw this some years ago on a documentary which was interesting. Animals (monkeys anyway) are not that different than humans. This was a research project. This is what they observed.

https://allthatsinteresting.com/drunk-monkeys-st-kitts

A controversial research project that involves giving alcohol to 1,000 green vervet monkeys has found that the animals divide into four main categories: binge drinker, steady drinker, social drinker, and teetotaller.

The vast majority are social drinkers who indulge in moderation and only when they are with other monkeys – but never before lunch – and prefer their alcohol to be diluted with fruit juice.

Fifteen percent drink regularly and heavily and prefer their alcohol neat or diluted with water. The same proportion drink little or no alcohol.

Five percent are classed as “seriously abusive binge drinkers”. They get drunk, start fights and consume as much as they can until passing out. As with humans, most heavy drinkers are young males, but monkeys of both sexes and all ages like a drink

81

u/kesavadh May 27 '22

Now if he gets home and hits his wife, it’s your fault.

11

u/shadowenx May 27 '22 edited May 28 '22

How can you tell he’s a cop?

Edit: lmao pissed off the bootlickers

2

u/xion_gg May 27 '22

Damn it, I was about comment the same. Take your upvote!

5

u/Leapimus_Maximus May 27 '22

He's off his furry little tits.

6

u/liquid_cat_juice May 27 '22

Go drunk squirrel, you're home

5

u/VoidIgris May 27 '22

God fucking damn, my boi is gone to visit the multiverse.

4

u/MaxTheRealSlayer May 27 '22

Poor squirrel has the spins

3

u/gdtimeinc May 28 '22

Spins are when the fun stops.

3

u/zitfarmer May 27 '22

This is one of those nodder squirrels from Oregon

3

u/loborodas May 27 '22

Homie is already in Saturn

3

u/Jynkoh May 27 '22

This little fella is off his pickle

3

u/reeder75 May 27 '22

The way it holds onto the bowl is very familiar!

10

u/TGD-Man May 27 '22

Please little buddy, snap back to reality!

6

u/NinJackHole May 27 '22

he’s realizing: Shrek is love…

7

u/Hypurr2002 May 27 '22

What were they fermented with, fentanyl?

7

u/Friendly-Ad3804 May 27 '22

Little guy living the time if his life.

2

u/WelcomeToTheFish May 27 '22

That's why they call it lean

2

u/Toosick-556 May 27 '22

That's usually how i look at the end of my birthday party

2

u/raygun-runner May 27 '22

Take me nuts I'm home again ,

2

u/MadLeap13 May 27 '22

Is it ok?

2

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

Little guy had new experience

2

u/OneHonkAway May 28 '22

This boy's cheese slid off his cracker.

2

u/riotsquirrelz May 28 '22

Squirrel drunk on fermented crabapples

I can't help but laugh at this, I hope he didn't get eaten!

2

u/space_______kat May 28 '22

Fr whats happening to it?

2

u/desrevermi May 28 '22

Ok, now I'm casually interested in getting woodland animals drunk.

:D

2

u/predat3d May 28 '22

'Scuze me while I kiss the sky

2

u/Jmandy96 May 28 '22

Curious why put out fermented pears?

2

u/murphdog09 29d ago

Been there a few times myself.

3

u/cati800 May 27 '22

Why this ain’t posted on r/took to much..again someone filming a poor wretched soul for likes….

→ More replies

5

u/Incredi-flow May 27 '22

One of my favorite squirrel videos by far.

2

u/Gangreless May 27 '22

Should you be feeding wildlife fermented pears?

I know it can happen naturally when they drop off the trees but seems weird to just give them a whole bucket.

3

u/ConnectConcern6 May 27 '22

I don't think those pears were left for wildlife to eat. I think someone took some pears in a bowl, put em there, and forgot about them. So they fermented.

2

u/KingThar May 28 '22

It doesn't even look like pears in the bowl.

7

u/GeoHawkI May 27 '22

That's poisoning a squirrel. Humans are rare amongst animals in that they can metabolize alcohol. Most animals cannot process even small amounts of alcohol. Humans could have evolved the ability to process alcohol from eating overripe fruit that other animals had to pass over. The overripe fruit also likely had alcohol and higher sugar content(but, lower nutrient content).

17

u/bludvein May 27 '22

Squirrels often eat overripe fruit on their own with no human intervention required. It's not poisonous to them, but for obvious reasons it makes them more vulnerable to predators until they shake off the drunkenness.

Humans are far from alone in evolving the ability to process alcohol as a result of overripe fruit being in their diet.

34

u/FearedKaidon May 27 '22

A quick Google search disproves you.

5

u/missinginput May 27 '22

3

u/MeccIt May 27 '22

Great film, everyone remembers it, but they don't realise it was staged, the fruits were spiked:

Jamie Uys’ footage was completely staged, and the animals were, believe it or not, fed with alcohol. The director and crew first soaked the marula fruits in booze, then filmed the scenes to make the story appear more believable.

https://africafreak.com/marula-fruit

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/news-elephants-drunk-wild-myth

2

u/pascontent May 27 '22

That's fucked up.

8

u/ConnectConcern6 May 27 '22

No. Squirrels often get drunk on their own. If a Squirrels getting drunk kills them then there would be a LOT of dead Squirrels.

2

u/Bjornos May 27 '22

Little dude just found god.

1

u/Street-Week-380 May 27 '22

Ooooh that boy is buuuuuzzed.

1

u/madeupname230 May 27 '22

The real question is, did the squirrel come back for more?

1

u/zannadi May 27 '22

Probably got into some old fermented bird seeds... Ergot can make you trip like like LSD.

-4

u/Arqideus May 27 '22

This kills the squirrel. (random hawk flies by for easy meal)

→ More replies

1

u/AutoModerator May 27 '22

Downloadvideo Link by /r/DownloadVideo

SaveVideo Link.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/ogthunda May 27 '22

Got that fiend balance

1

u/_-__________ May 27 '22

How's that Pear-sible?

1

u/spjhon May 27 '22

That squirrel party hard.

1

u/boris_casuarina May 27 '22

... The prophecy is true ...

1

u/Whimsington_Storke May 27 '22

It's Todd, the squirrel from Achewood.
He gonna drive home in his sweet van after this.

1

u/DaToasty1 May 27 '22

He’s trippin nuts man

1

u/Foolishly_Sane May 27 '22

I know that feeling.
Damn.

1

u/Niebieskideszcz May 27 '22

I applaud your captioning! This is hilarious

1

u/Hiseworns May 27 '22

blew his fuzzy little mind

1

u/DogeBisquits May 27 '22

Some hawk, later on, "Damn, that's a delicious squirrel!"

1

u/psykokittie May 27 '22

I’ll have what he’s having.

1

u/spacepoo77 May 27 '22

lol even the squirrels are on fentanyl

1

u/CarbonQuality May 27 '22

Poor little guy has the spins

1

u/izumi1262 May 27 '22

I have been there.

1

u/whoamvv May 27 '22

This is me today and I haven't even been drinking

1

u/Old-Independence5822 May 27 '22

I don't think I've ever seen a squirrel nodding off.

1

u/mybadroommate May 27 '22

It's a little early, don't you think?

4

u/Carl_pepsi May 27 '22

5 o clock some where

1

u/lucas_bahia May 27 '22

Eats it and stars riding the bigest imaginary roller coaster

1

u/ARMEGEDDONX May 27 '22

I think there were some Magic’s mushrooms as well

1

u/ThePopeJones May 27 '22

I have the spins. Poor little guys got a bad case.