r/todayilearned May 28 '22 Silver 3 Helpful 5 Wholesome 3 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Wearing is Caring 1

TIL that Harambe’s mother, only full brother, and two of his half siblings were killed when a tub of wet chlorine tablets was left by a space heater. The toxic fumes were blown into the gorilla enclosure and killed the four gorillas.

https://people.com/pets/the-gorilla-family-harambe-left-behind/?amp=true
68.5k Upvotes

6.9k

u/TheGrayBox May 28 '22

The poisoning incident happened at the Gladys Porter Zoo in Brownsville Texas, where Harambe was born.

4.0k

u/MilliandMoo May 28 '22

And it happened in 2002, long before his death in Cincy.

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u/neandersthall 29d ago

holy shit, the head vet at that zoo around that time is a friend of mine. I'll have to ask them about it.

1.9k

u/Notmeanjustbitter 29d ago

Oh it will break their heart to bring it up again i’m sure

3.9k

u/FallenXxRaven 29d ago

"Hey bro, remember that time when you zoo fucked up and murdered an innocent family of gorillas? Hey where are you going? You didn't even finish your drink"

3.2k

u/randomname68-23 29d ago Silver Wholesome Take My Energy Table Slap

"never have I ever killed a family of gorillas"

1.2k

u/Mo0oG 29d ago

"raise your hand if you take care of a gorilla family. Not so fast there Jerry"

523

u/mountaineer04 29d ago

“Are we saying take care in a zoo sense or more of a mafia style?”

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u/zhaoz 29d ago

Yes

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u/DeadSwaggerStorage 29d ago Silver

The Zoopranos was a cool spinoff; Tony got into witness protection and took over a zoo due to his love of animals. Most exhibits are ducks though.

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u/Theresabearintheboat 29d ago

I'm going to buy everyone in this bar who haven't murdered any gorillas a beer!

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u/GrimmSheeper 29d ago

This is the sort of petty and weird targeted “never have I ever” that I love.

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u/cwerd 29d ago

Idk why but this has me absolutely roaring with laughter.. cheers

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u/TonyRobinsonsFashion 29d ago

Shit this just brought up a memory from when I was a kid. I was vacationing with a friends family. Friends brother did that thing where you kick the back of someone’s sandals to knock them off their feet. Sandal went flying into the gorilla pit. My friend was down a sandal and we moved on. Apparently later a gorilla picked it up, ate it and chocked to death.

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u/FauxReal 29d ago

Wow... so did the brother feel bad or tell people his cool gorilla manslaughter story?

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u/TonyRobinsonsFashion 29d ago

I think neither, he laughed about it as a kid not really understanding the implication of what happened. I didn’t really either till I got older. He probably forgot about like I did. If I recall the zoo just wanted answers to the question of what happened but never got them

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u/CabotLowell 29d ago

This made me lol

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u/Big-Ear-1853 29d ago

"Fun fact! The only survivor of the family was harambe"

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u/No-Economist2165 29d ago

With poison gas essentially, don’t forget to mention that

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u/New_Cantaloupe_8568 29d ago

The late Donald Currey accidentally killed the oldest living organism anyone had ever found on Earth in 1964 (a tree). When it was brought up in an interview 15 years later, he ran away on camera.

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u/MilliandMoo 29d ago

It really does. My sisters had just graduated college and started working full time at Cincinnati. One of them worked with Harambe in primate education and was there that day. So I try to politely fill in information/correct misinformation when I can. Everyone who works at a zoo deeply cares for those animals.

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u/mom0nga 29d ago

Everyone who works at a zoo deeply cares for those animals.

This. I don't know where people get the idea that zoo workers abuse or kill animals for shits and giggles. With very few exceptions (unaccredited roadside zoos can be shady and profit-driven) zoos are staffed by people who deeply love animals and are doing the absolute best they can with what they have. They care for those animals 365 days a year no matter what and often build very deep bonds with them. The death of any zoo animal is absolutely devastating for keepers and staff, even moreso if the death was due to an accident (not all of which are preventable or foreseeable, BTW).

It's just as painful as losing a beloved pet or family member, but instead of sympathy, the grieving zoo caretakers have to deal with public accusations of "killing the animals" that they love so much.

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u/HillbillyMan 29d ago

Yeah, don't do that. Asking a zoo vet about the family of gorillas that died under their care is like asking asking a firefighter about the family that burned while they were trying to rescue them.

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u/RingInternational197 29d ago

That doesn’t sound like something a friend would do

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u/Ok_Lynx_6203 29d ago

Shortly after 9/11 you tell me?

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u/Sm00th-Kangar00 29d ago

Harambe's family knew too much. So did Harambe when he found out WHY his family died...

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u/AutobotDestroyer 29d ago

It all makes sense now

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u/holy_sit 29d ago

They were destined to free the rest of us. Planet of the Apes is just a cover-up

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u/Freshman44 29d ago

I’m living for this Harambe prequel miniseries!

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u/Jefe_Chichimeca 29d ago

That's why Space Heather killed them.

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u/prss79513 29d ago

I don't wanna blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help

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u/CornucopiaOfDystopia 29d ago

Seriously. After 9/11 I was leaving wet chlorine tablets all over the place. It was a rough time

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u/r_kelly_bathbomb 29d ago

And now I understand Harambes revenge

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u/shadowdash66 May 28 '22 Silver Gold Helpful

The tale of house Harambe is told in blood

2.0k

u/Lukose_ May 28 '22

The recusants killed Harambe :’(

912

u/______DEADPOOL______ May 28 '22

JUSTICEFORHARAMBE

848

u/TheGreatDingALing May 28 '22

DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE

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u/Dick_snatcher May 28 '22

Yes, please

152

u/house_monkey 29d ago

HEY PLEASE DONT SNATCH DICKS ITS RUDE

186

u/Dick_snatcher 29d ago Wholesome

HEY! I ALWAYS ASK FOR PERMISSION FIRST!

IM NOT SOME FUCKING CHODE BARBARIAN

No means No

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u/TheManRedeemed 29d ago Wholesome

Your stance on consent, as well as your willingness to clutch wang, is commendable. So for you, a poem.

Should your Donger be freely dangling.

And the words from your mouth be assent.

Then baby I'll snatch up that gorgeous vein monster.

Be it flaccid, semi, hard, straight, or bent.

And as soon as my hand finds that Meat Rod.

You're in for a hell of a treat.

Cos I am the knobnapping, cock stealing, Dick_Snatcher.

And my dextrous hands can't be beat.

So should I see you hanging your Wang out.

And air is the only thing between us.

My specialised skill will tantalize and thrill.

The Dick_Snatcher now owns another Penis!

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u/metal_webb 29d ago

They all died.......

TOGETHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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u/GoldenLoins 29d ago

As famileeeeeee

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u/SaintHuck 29d ago

Got some sick armor though.

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u/Ghostship23 29d ago

Their foolish ambitions were laid to rest

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u/Cvnilivee May 28 '22 edited 29d ago

Harambes daughter, Harya has her list and she’s coming for everyone.

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u/JavyLopez 29d ago

I’m envisioning a punisher style movie for Harya

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u/moonsun1987 May 28 '22

Harya will absolutely get her dick out for Harambe again

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u/Sqee 29d ago

She calls it Needle.

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u/Mandrake1771 29d ago

A gorilla has no name

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u/tgarnett 29d ago

Stick em with the pointy end.

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u/immaphantomLOL 29d ago

It’s the Kennedy family of gorillas

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u/Refects 29d ago

His hands were so smooth and silky

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u/TheHotCake May 28 '22

I love how this sounds so much like a GoT reference … you KNOW GRRM wrote that quest line /lore lol.

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u/Cash4Goldschmidt 29d ago

And now the rains weep over his hall, with not a soul to hear.

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u/ImmortalMemeLord 29d ago

The best part of season 8 was that they got Serj Tankian to sing The Rains of Castamere

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u/RichLowLife May 28 '22

A Lannister always pays his debts.

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u/Zargyboy May 28 '22

Tell KoKo, I want her to know it was me!

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u/hogger85 29d ago edited 29d ago Take My Energy Take My Power

And who, are you, the proud Ape said.
That I must bow so low?
Only an Ape of a different coat.
That's all the truth I know

In a coat of black or a coat of pink.
A Sim'an still has thought.
And mine are as quick and sharp, my lord.
As quick and sharp as aught

And so he spoke, and so he spoke.
That lord of Cincinnati.
But now the rains weep o'er his hall.
An empty menagerie.
Yes, now the rains weep o'er his hall.
An empty menagerie

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u/MantisAteMyFace May 28 '22 Silver

How the fuck do you just "accidentally" have a tub of wet chlorine tablets next to a heated fan in a Gorilla enclosure.

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u/JaySayMayday May 28 '22

People can be extremely dumb when it comes to chemicals. I used to be in the military, and the common areas were always inspected so of course we got the lower ranking guys to do it every time. And of course they just want to finish quick as possible, so there's an idea in many of their heads that you can just mix a bunch of household cleaners and it'll make a super cleaning mixture.

They even used it in the elevators. They made a chemical weapon and used it in our small enclosed elevators. High school chemistry focuses way too much on the elemental table and not enough time about why not to mix household cleaners, or in this case, why not to put chlorine tablets next to the fan that leads to the animal enclosure. Chlorine gas is no joke.

938

u/papichulodos May 28 '22

I was in the Navy for 8 years I validate that statement

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u/sambull 29d ago

I knew people that worked for the airforce. Lets just say the creek behind the base that ran thru the major metro into a confluence of rivers out to the sea was where the dumped all their chemicals.. they just disposed it in a pipe that ran to the creek.

Yes of course its a superfund site now.

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u/shoshkeanu 29d ago

not sure what you guys are getting at. we always mixbleach/window cleaner/dish detergent/laundry powder soap anything etc etc and it makes great gloops. we live in shared stdudent housing. we even compete to make the best recipes to totally irradiate the areas/bathrooms with killer cleaners. Josh has the best recipe still.

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u/papichulodos 29d ago

Haha maybe add a dash of Ammonia… for flavor 😂😂😂

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u/shoshkeanu 29d ago

hm i think the windex has that. we also put in bicarb of soda. it makes the best hiss and smoke.

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u/Buck_Thorn 29d ago This

Inserting obligatory "they are just joking, do not really mix bleach with ammonia"

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u/sparkyjay23 29d ago

You right but say it loud

Inserting obligatory "they are just joking, do not really mix bleach with ammonia"

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u/Buck_Thorn 29d ago

I was going to, but I knew that you'd be coming along soon enough.

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u/iHadou 29d ago

You're not even supposed to clean piss with bleach for this reason. Bleach and ammonia together make poison gas for anyone who hasn't figured it out from the comments before mine. It will burn your lungs from the inside and can be FATAL.

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u/Cambridge_ May 28 '22

I told my wife to not use bleach on cat pee about 3 times.

She used bleach on cat pee and complained it was burning her throat.

I told her she made a chemical weapon.

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u/AsYooouWish 29d ago

There was a Darwin Award Honorable Mention years ago about a guy cleaning his RV and he poured bleach into the head to try to break up some of the waste. It did not go well

https://darwinawards.com/personal/personal1999-28.html

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u/_clash_recruit_ 29d ago

Holy crap. I've burned my sinuses and throat just using bleach and ammonia separately. Apparently the vapors can mix inside your sinuses and throat.

For the last 10+ years I've started off cleaning day doing anything with bleach in the bathrooms then come back to do mirrors and anything with ammonia at least an hour or two later. I haven't had any problems since, although I hate not doing the entire bathroom all at once.

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u/BobbySwiggey 29d ago

There are several alternative cleaners to both of those things if you're interested, no need to rely on old school shit if it's busting up your cleaning schedule

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u/3q049ug4yap8463yhn 29d ago

Oh dear god. I've heard no bleach and no ammonia. And I know cat piss has all the ammonia. Yet somehow everytime I've cleaned cat piss with bleach, I've never put those thoughts together. It's a wonder I've made it this far.

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u/Moldy_slug 29d ago

Because cat pee and household bleach are both low concentration, and you’re dealing with small quantities.

It’s not actually dangerous to scrub a litter box or carpet pee stain with bleach. There’s simply not enough ammonia present to create a dangerous amount of gas.

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u/3q049ug4yap8463yhn 29d ago

Oh good. Cause nothing else really gets the smell out. Still will be more cautious about breathing next time. Though pretty sure when cat pee is involved, I'm holding my breath anyway.

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u/Moldy_slug 29d ago

Enzyme cleaners are more effective than bleach at removing cat pee smell, especially ones designed specifically for pet urine. The good part is they’re gentler and less likely to damage or discolor the thing you’re cleaning. I’ve had good luck with the “natures miracle” brand.

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u/unsmashedpotatoes 29d ago

Which is why all the cleaners in the pet section are hydrogen peroxide

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

I went over to someone's house to buy some weed right after they'd done this. I was high as balls wondering what the fuck was going on with my eyes and throat

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u/irokatcod4 29d ago

The other day I was cleaning my bathroom garbage can which had some used litter in it and almost put bleach in it to clean it but decided against it when realizing cat pee is ammonia based. I don't have any ammonia based cleaners at home so I haven't had to think about it before.

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u/CrystallineFrost 29d ago

Hydrogen peroxide will do the trick for cat pee. It will foam up a red color because it is breaking down the crystals in cat urine, then you are good to wipe it up. You can follow up with clorox urine remover as a secondary round.

Had an old cat who would pee on particular carpet types, so I tried everything to stop her before this setup worked.

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u/savwatson13 29d ago

I almost never use bleach on anything that doesn’t need to be white. I pretty much just use dish soap or cleaning wipes. I use hydrogen peroxide for a lot of stains too.

But I’m also not in a lot of situations where I need bleach.

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u/wampa-stompa 29d ago edited 29d ago

Hydrogen peroxide is an oxidizer as well, that's why it also works as a bleaching agent similar to sodium hypochlorite. So you need to be careful with that too. It won't release chlorine or chloramines but it is still capable of creating nasty things when mixed, or even starting a fire.

Just make sure it's all gone before you follow up with some other cleaner. Maybe use water in between.

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u/unknown257 29d ago

IIRC every mammal pee is urea based, which eventually decomposes into some ammonia.

Due to volumes, using bleach to clean litter shouldn't be hazardous in a ventilated house and all these chemical cleaners are terrible in unventilated places anyway.

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u/Rhameolution May 28 '22

They even used it in the elevators.

Elevators makes me think it's Air Force, but I think they have their own butlers so maybe Army...

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u/Kaymish_ 29d ago

Key word is lower ranking. The Air Force needs its share of dummies to do things like load bombs and ammo into the aircraft. There's things the butlers won't do so there needs to be NCOs and specialists who don't warrant their own staff and must clean up after themselves.

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u/RepublicanOnWelfare May 28 '22

Why would they even use chlorine near animals? My wife works at an animal shelter and the never use bleach/ chlorine because of all the ammonia from animal pee. They use peroxide based cleaners so there are no dangerous chemical reactions. I'm talking about an underfunded shelter, I can't imagine a zoo making such an obvious mistake.

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u/krautbammer 29d ago

I'm guessing the chlorine tablets were used to treat a water system, maybe even related to the heating/cooling system (this is common).

And sometimes you don't even realize it's that wet/gassing off.

I've cleaned out a granulated chlorine feeder one time and left the stuff I cleaned out in a bucket with a screw on lid. Several hours later the bucket lit shot off into the air. The granules had been a bit wet just from the humidity and a little water drift.

What I'm trying to say is it's probably an honest but very bad mistake but probably not gross negligence.

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u/unimaginative2 29d ago

When I was a child the swimming class after me got chlorine gassed due to a mix up by the cleaners at the pool. They were hospitalised but were all ok.

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u/_FreeXP May 28 '22

Incompetence is a hell of a drug

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u/SaveStoneOcean May 28 '22 edited May 28 '22

The universe really said "Fuck these gorillas in particular"

9.4k

u/_Im_Dad May 28 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Starry

On the anniversary of Harambe's family death...

The Cincinnati Zoo should have special deals all day. Discounts for Harambe.

1.6k

u/StokedBartender May 28 '22

This is a fantastic joke.

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u/HokiesOPTC May 28 '22

I don’t get it

733

u/Garrick420 May 28 '22

It’s a play on “dicks out for Harambe”.

199

u/HokiesOPTC May 28 '22

I didn’t miss the harambe fad back when it was going on but I did miss dicks out for harambe

344

u/kloudykat May 28 '22

Its okay. You can whip your dick out for Harambe any time in his memory?

No dick? Whip that metaphorical dick out and challenge some gender norms or whatever the cool kids call it these days.

Just don't forget to make it metaphorically large, in his memory.

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u/TheWolfisGrey53 May 28 '22

Clits out for Haramabe. We had everything

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u/xtilexx May 28 '22

Labiae tits? out for Harambe

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u/AgentSteelSaturday May 28 '22

Discounts for Harambe.

a few years back there was a meme

Dicks out for Harambe.

Now say them together

Discounts for Harambe.

Dicks out for Harambe

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u/lawofthewilde May 28 '22

Username checks out

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u/Benginator May 28 '22

The wikipedie article for Harambe says dicks out for Harambe uses ”dicks” as slang for guns. Calling for armed revenge of Harambe. That can’t be real can it?

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u/mmanaolana 29d ago

I'm unsure of if dick out for Harambe started as that, but how I most commonly saw it used, and how it's used now, is not with that intention. It's more like...honor Harambe by whipping your dick out. 🤷‍♂️

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u/dizao 29d ago

Dicks out is rapper slang coined by "young thug" for a pistol with an extended magazine.

Dicks out for Harambe was adopted as a meme call for justice for Harambe. I don't think the movement ever actually wanted violence, just the internet running away with something funny.

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u/Is_It_Beef May 28 '22

Oh.. Dick's out for Harambe. Took me way too long

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u/Jimisdegimis89 May 28 '22

These last 6 years really have just been Harambe’s revenge

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u/D1rtyH1ppy May 28 '22

I believe we are living in a dimension where Hambre was supposed to die from the chlorine tablets and we are all trapped in a Final Destination scenario.

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u/SaveStoneOcean May 28 '22 edited May 28 '22

The thought of Harambe being a final destination protagonist is now my new headcanon

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u/lucsev May 28 '22

The Kennedys of the gorilla world.

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u/shmorky May 28 '22

It's all orchestrated man. They're the Kennedy's of the gorilla world.

That was a CIA toddler

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u/Suspicious-Factor466 May 28 '22

Lol humans did that.

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u/54B3R_ May 28 '22

This. None of the animals would have been harmed if it wasn't for people

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u/scorpionewmoon May 28 '22

Damn that whole family was cursed

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u/zitpop May 28 '22 Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

The Kennedy’s of Gorillas

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u/Bayoutim220 May 28 '22

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedy’s

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u/reximus123 May 28 '22

I like your funny words magic man!

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u/Cyrano_Nose May 28 '22

Shhh... lets not give the QAnon people any ideas...

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u/ruinersclub May 28 '22

I saw a post that said they’re still at Dallas.

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u/BackIn2019 May 28 '22

Trump/Harambe 2024? This time, it's extra bananas!

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u/Myonenonpornacc May 28 '22 Silver

The chimpanzees aren't sending their best.

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u/Danger_Bunny_M May 28 '22

So we going for the Orangutan, Gorilla wombo combo.

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u/JetsFan2003 May 28 '22

Harambe Jr. is going to to overturn the stolen election by the K. Rool Party and rightfully lead the Kong Party once he comes back to life on the 31st of June 💯 🙌 🤯

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u/william-o May 28 '22

Cursed with living at a fucked up zoo

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u/Meal-Ready May 28 '22

This family deserved better.

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u/No_Net9185 May 28 '22

Dicks our for Harambe And His Family

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u/Yjorik May 28 '22

Nothing has felt real since Harambe was assasinated, his family knew too much.

1.6k

u/xoldier May 28 '22 Silver

Harambe was an inside job.

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u/periodicchemistrypun May 28 '22

That’s where the bullet killed hin

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u/ashamedprotein May 28 '22

Harambe was a crisis actor just trying to get everyone to whip their dicks out

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u/gadd027 May 28 '22

The Harambes were the Kennedys of gorillas

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u/ArtificialSieve May 28 '22

Harambe is the result of an experiment performed in 2016 at the LHC. One of the events junked us back and to the left an inch. Now we're in the darkest timeline.

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u/sunatmywindow May 28 '22

He knew too much!

You took him away from us!

Our ape king Harambe!

Taken too soon!

Lost but never forgotten!

His strength will live on through us!

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u/Soupdeloup May 28 '22

Harambe dying was the point when we switched timelines and went down the horrible shit path that was the last 6 years and nobody can change my mind.

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u/PancakeProfessor May 28 '22

The Hadron Collider broke reality in 2012. It’s all been unraveling since then.

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u/Addictive_System May 28 '22

The LHC destabilized reality and Harambe’s death was the nexus point that sent us to the world we have now. Had Harambe lived we would be in a very different world

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u/JackiieGoneBiking May 28 '22 Take My Energy

Save Harambe, save the timeline.

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u/BareKnuckleKitty May 28 '22

Save the gorilla, save the world.

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u/StormOpposite5752 May 28 '22 edited May 28 '22

Our timeline, all timelines, are twisted like proteins, and the shape gives function. Twisted ribbons of reality. When a protein becomes a prion it inverts, becoming a Chiron. Imagine a chironic mirror reality. It would interact with us via gravitational waves, and the overlap between the realities is theorized to account for the added mass of dark matter. So Harambe’s death was a nexus point where we flipped to a chironic state, an inverted reality. We’re Toxic Rick and Morty.

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u/Holy-Kush May 28 '22

Abed should have just caught the die.

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u/merikaninjunwarrior May 28 '22

Had Harambe lived we would be in a very different world

harambe's sacrifice was like the bird sacrifice that crashed into fabios face in the '90's , and shifted the tilt of the earth as well

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u/goatchild May 28 '22

We need to go back there and undo this mess. Get back to our true timeline.

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u/tydestra May 28 '22

Cubs winning the WS sacrificed all our happiness. A 100+ year drought curse doesn't just break like that.

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u/vpsj 29d ago

The world was supposed to end in 2012. We traded a parallel reality due to the LHC's actions. But at what cost?

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u/ugagradlady May 28 '22

His family is cursed. By humans.

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u/Intothemist_ May 28 '22

What the actual fuck

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u/SirArmitageShanks May 28 '22

They knew too much

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u/GingerBlackhole May 28 '22

This right here. That was a hit no doubt.

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u/throwaway_ghast May 28 '22

This is more believable than half the shit on /r/conspiracy.

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u/fredagsfisk May 28 '22

At least that sub used to be somewhat entertaining, many years ago... now it's just altrighter/QAnon lunacy and Russian psyops.

12

u/The_Wombles 29d ago

Man years ago that sub was great. Some really intelligent people (slightly crazy) putting together theories. Mostly light hearted with the occasional zinger.

Now it’s just 4chan and Twitter screenshots about covid, trump and whatever flavor of the day the news is talking about

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u/mnmason83 May 28 '22

Not surprisingly, Harambe’s last name was Kennedy.

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u/mrgreyeyes May 28 '22

They traded an entire bloodline of souls to get something from the devil.

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u/tenettiwa May 28 '22

Nothing bad EVAH happens to the Kennedys!

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u/[deleted] May 28 '22

[deleted]

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u/topasaurus May 28 '22

Someone trying to dry them, maybe after accidentally getting them wet?

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u/novaaa_ May 28 '22

damn they did the whole family it’s a conspiracy 😭💀

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u/rferg3 May 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

There’s a picture of George Bush meeting Harambes mom too lol https://i.imgur.com/Q7qOsqW.jpg

157

u/-Dutch-Crypto- May 28 '22

Why is nobody talking about this?? We need to do something

18

u/Rehcubs 29d ago

Just before this photo was taken he is reported to have said "You'll never guess what I'm going to do in 2001..." then whispered something in her ear. This photo shows her shocked reaction.

56

u/rferg3 May 28 '22

There’s just too many coincidences 😂

17

u/d3vilk1ng May 28 '22

There needs to be a movie about this!

84

u/rainbowjesus42 May 28 '22

Somebody get this on r/conspiracy, this shit is about to get blown wide open.

40

u/vexens May 28 '22

They're too busy talking about how the vaccine is plunk full of deer jism.

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23

u/ididntunderstandyou May 28 '22

Next you’re gonna tell me Harambe was on the Epstein flight list

11

u/Yglorba May 28 '22

#HarambeWasAnInsideJob

(Specifically, it was like this.)

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153

u/fox-recon May 28 '22

Recent Russian oligarch death are less suspicious than this story.

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271

u/clockfire1 May 28 '22

The internet's continued obsession with Harambe is honestly one of my favorite things about the internet

102

u/scrivensB May 28 '22

Nice try. We all know it’s the diaper fetish videos that keep you coming back.

41

u/clockfire1 May 28 '22

Lmao you caught me

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67

u/Several_Jellyfish507 May 28 '22

maybe harambe was gonna pull some planet of the apes shit so someone traveled back in time and murdered his entire family

12

u/GOGaway1 29d ago

Anonymous sources familiar with the matter confirmed Harambe’s family had information that would lead to the arrest of the Clintons

68

u/emceemcee May 28 '22

What the fuck, seriously? It's Friday. What're this dark shit on a Monday or something.

15

u/zdakat May 28 '22

Guess that means next Monday can only be worse

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37

u/Kittykittygumdrop May 28 '22

That's fucked up. Why would someone do that?

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52

u/macsare1 May 28 '22

Hmm, do I trust a story about an ape from a magazine called "People"?

14

u/StuartGotz 29d ago

History is written by the winners.

55

u/TheLusitan May 28 '22

The world has gone to hell ever since Harambe died for our sins

50

u/TheStorMan May 28 '22

We really need to start treating animals better. That's a horrible thing to happen, and we wouldn't have even heard about it if they weren't related to Harambe.

91

u/MuthaPlucka May 28 '22

Were these possibly Oligarch gorillas?

9

u/TheNuclearMind May 28 '22

His mom met George Bush

81

u/coreyneil May 28 '22

Same people who killed Epstein. No loose ends.

8

u/FunkyMonkeyIsObvious May 28 '22

Stop fucking with these gorillas, we all know what happened last time. I don’t want to see how it could get worse. Also that’s just some shitty neglect and the keepers should have been more diligent.

7

u/ArtaisiousX 29d ago

They're like the gorilla Kennedys

68

u/Iron_Baron May 28 '22

I hate this fucking timeline.

98

u/AJMax104 May 28 '22

Dicks out

RIP

27

u/gyshall May 28 '22

Never put mine away. RIP

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7

u/Calm-War9666 May 28 '22

When will the killing end

41

u/BarringtonSheffield May 28 '22

The went down like the Kennedy’s

15

u/Valianttheywere May 28 '22

So, his family was gased in a gas chamber ? Sounds like malicious intent.

30

u/TheHelpfulOtter May 28 '22

Nothing been right since they shot Harambe.

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